You mau potong maciam...itu, itu, david beckam punya bini ah?

I had a great time with Jannah & Farah :D

Havainas, farah's bangles, farah's new minah friend, walking in the rain, Javanese food, Jana being so supportive throughout my frustration with the china guy who did my hair, at Pointers. I had to go through a translator, okay! So unnerving, i was so afraid. Thank god for Jannah sitting there so patiently the whole time! Well spent saturday with those two (:

And i'm actually pleased with the outcome of my hair... but i'm missing the length a little. Oh well, changes ought to be embraced, i guess? Especially if i voluntarily made the change on my own accord. Pray that the curls won't be coming back with a vengeance anytime soon!

While we were at NUM, i pointed to this one guy and said loudly; "OMG, he looks like that Gabriel!"

Turns out that it really is Gabriel. Malu or what. Actually tak malu lah.

Unproductive

Watched Juno & 50 first Dates.

I wish i'm as funny as Juno and as forgetful as Lucy in 50 first dates. That way, it'll be perfect. My memory will be erased (like something on etch-a-sketch) and I get to start anew every morning. Yes, it'll irritate the shit out of people around me... but then they'll gladly put up with me, cause i'm so funny and sweet and all that, you see.

The best part is that nobody would blame me if i can't remember a thing about the Global economy and market failure.

Oh, i wanted to blog about Tila Tequila's reality show but i'll save that for some other day. She's bisexual, asian and gets 16 girls and 16 guys to compete for her affections SIMULTANEOUSLY. Now, kudos to the producers of the show. That's a great example of manifestation on other people's diversity, is it not?

Gym dates.

Oh look, we think we are cute secondary school cheenameena girls!

Pretends to be from SCGS (it's actually Pam's shirt. Hehe. I sleep, eat, run, sweat & everything else in this! Super comfy and smelly )

• Theory of income determination in the morning
• & then proceeded to the gym, because we both felt guilty for having skipped PE numerous times. Nah, who are we trying to kid, we just wanted to work out our fattyness (after many many meals and uncontrollable junk)
• I machine hopped, using each machine for only about 10 mins, while Farah did serious, scary, intense workout. Oh, i spent most of my time on the weighing machine. How's that?
• Then i felt very thin and toned already and decided to video-record Farah's work-out routine while rolling on the yoga mat. THIS IS MY FAVOURITE PART!!! Must watch the video okay, you all!
• Went home damn happy and damn thin. Yay!
• Jannah! Next time when you no longer have pesky art, we shall have to go again (:

So i had a great day!

I will not eat i will not eat i will not eat i will not eat...

Oh nono... must eat... otherwise i won't be able to concentrate on econs. Heh. Excuses, i tell you. OH NO. They just announced that we're eating out for dinner.

Breathe Nas, you will just eat portions fit for mice, so that there will be more to go around. See how selfless i am? I always put my family before myself. HA HA.

Toodle-ley!

Oh i'm not beaten.

(Click to view in larger window)

You know, IF you're after him, doing this isn't gonna help heighten your chances.

I'm very sure he does not appreciate assumptions and antagonisms such as those

you've made on my tagboard.

Just a little piece of advice from...oh,

somebody who he doesn't give a shit about anymore.

All hyped up.

Alrighty, as you can see, i can't seem to stop changing my blogskin. I am nuts. But for now, i really like this one.

Lots of school activities this week.
Bleargh.

I will try so hard to stick to the study plan. Yes, i must.

*tears self away from blogskin template.

I tell you, it's my latest obsession.

Oh actually, there's another thing that i can't help but do. Honestly, i keep changing the position of the bloody stickers on my phone! Every few minutes of the day.

My mom says it looks like an ah-lian's phone.

I hate my phone. It doesn't ring or do anything that phones are supposed to do, like receive smses and calls, for one. It irks me so badly, my phone's lack of activity. And when i do receive smses, i resent replying them...unless it's from girlfriends and you-know-who.

Eunice was the one who started this sticker thing. & i cant seem to quit the desire to paste more.

Omitted one word (that made all the difference in the world)!

Okay, dont panic. Don't react psychotically about it. It means nothing. It just got deleted, that's all. You're overreacting, Nas! Because it doesnt matter to me. Yes it really doesnt matter.

It doesnt matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesnt matter doesn't matter doesn't matter...

Maybe if i start saying it enough it'll just have to eventually come true.

Oh and you know what. When i thought- oh FINALLY!

There's someone nice (and cute and is NOT 15 but actually 20 and drives and loves Haruki Murakami...)

IT'S JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

His smses are like a girl's. Long and all too wordy and lengthy. Plus he likes to send two messages at one go, to amend the previous one (which was alr about 2-3 pages long). Ok, sounds alot like me- BUT I'M A GIRL. I think it reflects his emotional state: clingy, unstable, girlish and extremely overprotective.

Sigh, you already got onto my nerves. But i gotta give it to you, you are cute- plus you have no moles on your face! And you live in your own rented condo! And Muslim! But smses are really really just very important to me. I just communicate best that way.

Maybe there's really nothing wrong with him. It's just me that's all wrong.

Give me an "F"

Suddenly all i want to say are a whole lot of expletives and nothing else.

Last year this time, i was adored, carefree and i felt like the world was on my side. Korea will forever symbolize a time filled with much joy... and love.

This year, the only thing that's better than the last would have to be my hair. But i'm more determined than ever to make next year, this time, be better than the best i've ever had (which has to be last year).

I'm so excited, because it WILL mean moving onto much better accomplishments.

YANNI darling, congratulations on your entry to NTU. You made me want it just as bad too :D Just thirty more days left for me to complete my first round of 3 whole years worth of revision. I owe me this, at the very least.

Please let me have the strength to see this through *prays

Another one of those lists

Here's what i want do before i die;

1. To see new places, meet new people and eat new, unbelievably yummy food.

2. To get published some day. Like a proper, insightful article, or perhaps a book.

3. To marry someone i love, or can grow to love. There's no point settling for any less.

After much deliberation and consultation with Farah, and my own experiences with guys that i DO NOT LIKE, I guess i'd rather live alone or stay unmarried than to just marry for convenience sake. Okay, maybe exceptions will be made if i'm really pathetic and have no job of my own or something... and only if the guy is respectable enough.

4. To make my parents feel like they deserve to (satisfied, proud, and loved) for everything they have ever done for me.

5. Lastly, of course, I JUST FUCKING WANT TO BE THIN AND REALLY GORGEOUS LAH.

I'd rather be quiet and deal with uncomfortable situations with someone i really like (i think), rather than to have fun and chat alot with someone i don't really like. I think i found that out today. Okay, at least for now i think so.

GIRLS in CAPS(ules)

Had a pretty good end to my day in school.

Actually, i'm beginning to feel alot of pressure from school and the rigour for A's is honestly no joke. I feel so much like just throwing in the towel- because i just can't handle doing 3 econs essays and needless to say, history is my greatest burden (not to mention regret).

TGs made my afternoon at KFC all the merrier and chirpier. You know what? You girls are like happy pills- for instant short little bursts of happiness and laughter!

I'm currently still pretty much trying to re-call what happy felt like. Maybe it's the feeling I get when someone tells me i've lost weight. HA HA HA. In the meantime, Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic series make a good companion for lonely nights. Keeps me giggling alright.

Tomorrow will be my special date with Farah! YESSAH! Can't wait, gf!

Orange lights, Sunday night.

1) New phone, love it, even though it's not purple.

2) Walked around aimlessly alone. Facial, manicure & a few new knick knacks.

3) Joined parents for another tech shopping trip

4) Dinner at Straits Kitchen with paternal extended family, to celebrate Nenek's 70th.

P/S: Actually, i kinda like the library at night. It's so quiet and you feel like you're the only one alive. Better still, revision can get itself done.

p/p/s: i shampooed my hair because i really thought i was gonna be seeing you.

my wasted hours on a useless Saturday.

Woke up at 7am
Slept right after i bathed, again.
Tried to get in touch with Farah.
SHE'S MISSING.
I CANNOT CONTACT HER & I FEEL SICK.
Instead,
F called me & we made plans.
But fell asleep.
and then i woke up and cancelled plans with him.

You see, i'm still hoping for A to call. Haha.
See, this is what's called retarded behaviour.

I must get going and actually DO SOMETHING.

To Nenek: Happy Birthday.

R-r-r-retard

I am so retarded.
As of now, i quit being retarded.
Because i am better than a retard.
I will weane myself off retardation!

I'll start by not disclosing so much on my blog entries.

Oh, congratulations, GARNET.

I'll never have to attend another sports meet, ever again :)

Muchos is the cutest, most adorable and BEA-YOUTIFUL cat i've ever seen.

I hate my maid & i wish for another who will just be timid- but very efficient. Mine has such horrible attitude problems. You ask her a question, NICELY and she just bites your head off. Sucker. I send you back to live in the swamps and pee in the Sumatran jungles in your corrupted country than you know ah!!! Here, you can flush and your shit gets properly disposed...you still want to shout at me??? YOU OBVIOUSLY FORGOT WHAT IT'S LIKE TO PICK UP YOUR OWN SHIT WITH YOUR FINGERS RIGHT!!!

I want to stuff the galah up her sarcastic ass and watch her die a slow, painful death.

Alright, goodnight. I'm gonna lie down and talk to my ceilings.

Marie Digby's rendition of "No Air"

There's just something about her face and the way she sings that just makes me enjoy this song 10,000 times more than Chris Brown & Jordin Spark's version. Love LOVE this girl!

Mid Year GP exams tomorrow, alongside MI's annual sports meet. I'm glad to say that this will be my last time attending such frivolous events at MI. Why is the sports meet such a huge deal anyway??? I STILL sorta blame MI for ruining the best thing i had going on in my life- regardless of how ridiculous it may sound.

Oh yeah, must be the superly hot cheerleaders. HA HA. Okay fine. I'm looking forward to watch them do their cheerleading routines and also, i can't wait to criticize some attention seeking bitches prancing around in their cheerleading outfits, thinking they're the most gorgeous fuckers on earth. Admittedly, some of them are hot, gorgeous girls and granted, they desreve all the attention that they crave. I'm talking about those girls with obvious birthmarks on their skinny legs or those with boobies that jiggle all over the place when they prance about, like wild bouncy maniacal creatures on the loose. (Note that their bangbangs will only stop its tsunami waves 10 mins after they last stopped moving, yes, i timed) YES, it's these shiok sendiri girls that piss the urine, shit and vomit out of me.

I bet you think i'm just jealous and miserable, right? Sure i'm miserable and maybe just a little miffed with myself for never wanting to get involved with any of MI's big events. I hate myself for never having the courage and confidence to join, because i was afraid of being too fat and heavy and all the other stuff that i loathe about my physical self.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter one bit what other people may say about you and the image you've projected of yourself in that 5 minute routine (of course, some girls tend to get a little too carried away, exposing more than they should have, but i guess for girls like these, coming across like a total cheappie is a small trade-off) because the fun and enjoyment that you've experienced is yours to keep forever! Hey, i can't run/sprint/do anything remotely sporty. Does that make my student life in MI less valuable than those who have contributed and enriched themselves by joining a CCA or being part of some group that brought glory to Millennia? I don't know. I refuse to know.

PLUS, my phone is still missing. Goodbye, i will just go be student and try psyche myself up for GP tomorrow. Yeah baby, i'm so excited to write essays and tackle comprehension questions tomorrow!!! Meh.

P/S:

This will be my last year watching you run and take part in the track events :) I'll be cheering you on from within, okay? I hope you'll read this so you'll know, even though you may not give a shit about me. I'd have texted you, but since i can't... Oh well. All the best. May Zircon be worth all that hard work you've invested. Take care.

Sigh

Believe it or not,
I HAVE MISPLACED MY PHONE.
I'm feeling rather distraught.
Well, i have a feeling i'll be re-united with it, soon.
My gut feeling's almost always right.

Anyway, Wednesday went fine :)
Watched Garnet's cheerleading!
Farahzee* hot nak mampos!
I can't wait to get this week over and done with.
Well well.

Please tell me i'll find it soon.

Untitled post.

I thought Monday was pretty okay.
I have the silly crazy TGs who can make you laugh till no end.
And maybe Pilates will be fun.
Mmmkay.

Now it's almost time for Tuesday.
Then there's still Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
That's alot of days, isn't it?
& Monday will come rolling by again in no time.
It'll never end.

Dying is not an option. Only cowards choose to die.
I'm too lazy to live, to lead a satisfying existance.
It seems like such a chore to live.
I think i'd very much prefer never to have existed at all.

Empty

Well, the blank space above pretty much explains... ME.

I'm turning into a rabid blogger

It just occured to me this morning, during Institute day that the song "No air" by Chris Brown & Jordin Sparks is actually a break up song. Farahzee pointed this out. You are so smart. LOL

Like KD, i thought the song was about two lovers saying that they are each other's air, or something like that. All the silly, stupid, redundant things that people in love tend to believe. Oh well, i guess now the song has a whole new meaning! I never liked it much before, but now i think it's ok.

I want to post up pics of I-day! I'll wait for Hasy-lee to get back & upload, i guess. This is random but i think Ha's damn cute. Hahaha. She says the cutest things! Right y'all?

Cries

I'm just sad because i actually have two new pretty dresses and nowhere to go (actually 3, but i'm never going to wear the last one until i'm satisfied with my arms) Haahaahaa. Maybe i'd end up being one of those old women who dresses up all prettily & elaborately, just to go down and feed the kitty cats under the block.

My imagination does wonders.

Scattered thoughts.

I feel really weird.

I've been losing things all week.
I lost 2 brand new foolscap pads
And my shoebag, and the shoes in the bag.
Recently, i also found out that i lost the white
dress that i wore to watch the P&P play. It's
not in my wardrobe!

Peculiarly, i'm more upset about the loss of
my foolscap paper.

After school hours.

Good food and even better company; who gave "after school hours" a brand new meaning altogether! Fries, green trees, pink blooms, graceful swans, fresh grass, white, brown and black pigeons, happy free kids, sweet glorifying breeze... along with the impeccably hot ill sun- all in the company of thosegirls (:

Would have been better if it was everyone though!

Cravings

My appetite is back with a vengeance.
Food dissolves in my stomach like your skin
probably would in highly concentrated hydrochloric acid.
I’m still as anal as ever about my food intake,
but somehow, I just don’t feel full!
I must be emptier than I thought I was.
& I've been craving for HOTDOGS.
I wake up at odd hours of the night thinking
how nice it would be to get a hotdog, the kind
they sell at movie theaters for you to snack on.
Which reminds me, i haven't watched a movie
in ages. I still want a hotdog anyways.
Shucks. Tell me i'm nuts.

Untitled

Ever had the feeling of just wanting to blog & type something, even though you have nothing? Well, here's one of those kinda entries. It's about nothing.

School was okay. I think politics's tiring. I hate Fistful of Colors. Too much politics. Too many viewpoints.

Hmmm, i was just thinking alot about first kisses and first everything. Awesome things that you'll remember, especially if it was a significant someone. Friendships and people. Was i even really thinking? I don't know. Maybe i was just spacing out. I didn't come up with any critical observations or anything.

I wonder if you still read my blog. I guess not. I know you're extremely busy. I'd just like you to know that i've switched to a new shampoo brand again. Hahaha, no more L'oreal, no more Sunsilk. With Eunice's recommendation, i'm using Herbal Essence now. I bet you'd love the scent. Oh & i got a new dress. It's greeen. I like it, i wonder if you would. Oh well, i am talking by myself here, aren't i?

They say nothing lasts forever. If so then, i really wish i'm that nothing.

Okay, that's enough. I've gotta stop blogging.

Shiny stats.

I am pissed with my hit counter,
IT'S NOT WORKING.
Argh.
Come on, shiny stat... work work work!

Fine weekend.

Saturday;

Wedding reception at Lagun Sari.

Met Marni after years! Her brother was the one getting married (Congratulations! Wishing you both eternal love & joy) We used to play with Barbies and come up with our own soap operas & romances back when i was 6 and she 8. Good old days, before Opah moved to Mayfair. She was the girl next door, my first ever friend. I loved her so much! She'd tell me stuff that i thought was really very wise and insightful. She'd give me tips about dressing up, and make-up, all that when we were both just kids! I'd listen with utmost wonderment and awe. I don't know how we became close friends. It just happened and i'm really glad i got to know the kid in her. No one else knew how much i looked forward to visiting my grandma (Opah) during the weekend just so i can spend some time with her!

& now we're both grown. She's doing a nursing degree while i'm still pretty much trying to study for A's. No suprise that Barbies are the last things on our minds now!

Sunday;

1. Pancakes for breakfast at 9 am with Farah love!
2. Studied at JE library
3. Got hungry around 3 pm and went in search of food again, hahaha
4. Ended up at Causewaypoint's Banquet.
5. Was engulfed by excited shrieks and hugs- OMG IT'S YANNI!!!

I was so excited to see her, i swear. I met her mom again (after 2-3 years?) and both of them are so alike. Friendly and nice :) I miss you so much. When i saw you today Yan, i realised it's truly been ages since we caught up with each other. Today must have been the first time this year! How ridiculous is that?? I'd have died if i don't see you for 2 consecutive days when we were back in secondary school. Time just swallows everything up. Yanni whispered musical notes in my ear;

"Omg, you've lost alot of weight! Your face is smaller!"

After that i ate a ton of sweet nonsense. The irony joy brings. Yanni, i will forever marvel with our ability to stay friends. Remember how we screamed & fought & said hurtful stuff to each other, in front of each other? But we still managed to stay friends throughout. Stay safe, you!

I'M SO GLAD FARAH & I DECIDED TO HEAD ALL THE WAY TO CP BANQUET TO SATISFY HER CRAVINGS FOR CHEESE TOFU (which, btw, seems to be only availabe at Vivo's outlet. Why uh?)

(cont'd list)

6. Had supposed healthy bacteria (pro-biotic yoghurt)
7. Oreos
8. Bus-ride all the way home, filled with lighthearted
chatter & usual groans about being fat. I love you ah, A'in!

I had a fantastic weekend. I miss my old friends plenty.

Nothing in particular, why, do YOU find it relevant?

Sunshine, daisies, butter jell-o.

Turn that silly fake rat yellow!

Part of me feels like it already gave up on A'levels.
Most of me knows that that will be the stupidest thing i'll ever do
But the other side of me feels like i can do so much more.
Question is- what?
I guess soon, we'll all reach a better place.
Provided we make it happen, NOW.
Less than 2 months before mid-years begin.
& needless to say, my resolve to study 8 hrs a day is just
BULLCRAP.

Brocco Lee

Nothing beats going home and finding stir fried broccoli in my pan. Yessah. The joy these green things bring :) It's okay to eat your friends if they're this green!

Is it just me, or is my life so empty now that i blog about broccoli? Nah, i just love those things.

If a guy wants to find a way to my heart- go consult these miniature trees and they'll tell you how. Thereafter, cook me a brocco-gourmet meal for two & i'd fall in love with you :)

P/S: Thanks for telling me where i can get broccoli related cartoons, Ha & Eunice! I swear it must be the only website that makes such things. LOL

3 days.

Tuesday,

Chats during GP lecture with Eunice, bubbles with lee jake hooi, sweaty econs, truth & dare- scratching armpits and what nots, blood donation, unauthorized purple band aids, peals of laughter and lies for literature.

Wednesday,

I guess your cover's blown. Ass-licka. Wonder if redemption will do you any good. For your own sake, i hope you'll find a way. Trauma-rama-drama.

Thursday,

Wonderful day spent with Farah :)

Vivo, Starbucks, Econs, FOOOD and girlfriend loving. Dashing from one place to another, hot guys, HOT HOT GUYS. Shucks. Why do girls like me even exist??? Good provoking question there, Farah. OH WHYYYY do i even exist. So unwanted. Huh. Not only by guys but girls too! (LOL)

Off to have dinner. Ciao. Food'll take me away.