Night time sucks worst.

So what do you do when,
Someone you're so devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you
& it seems they haven't got a clue...
Of the pain and rejection they're putting you through.

Do you cling to your pride,
& sing "I will survive"
Or do you lash out and say,
"HOW DARE YOU LEAVE THIS WAY??"
Do you just hold on in pain as they just drift away?

It's so hard to be nonchalant and strong
When in your head you're just completely going to pieces.

Thanks for not leaving me alone, friends.

Oh wow.

I'm actually one of those girls who has an ex-boyfriend now. I is very sad about that, because i still is loving him very very deeply.

But, i guess life goes on, and so that is why i went to grab breakfast with Farah A at West Coast and we just walked around this morning. I'm at her place now, chatting with other school skippers. HAHA.

Today, i tried to climb the pyramid rope thing, did my "shuttle run" like an idiot. I guess, you know, i may not be that gorgeous but i can still attract a few admiring glances- sadly it's only my face because the rest of me is so not worth noticing, like at all. Haha. Stangers talked to me at Mac. I must have looked very pitiful or something.

Farah can climb like a monkey. Haha. I was dead amused. I love her very much. And you know what's funny, how i received condolences from dear dear friends.

Oi dear people, Abdar is NOT dead la. We just broke up, that's all. It's tough, but i'll survive (:

And he was a fantastic bf. The next girl who gets him is very very lucky, because he'll make sure he loves you more, okay? Don't settle for any less from him, ok? (This is my message to Abdar's future gf, assuming that i found out and that it's been quite some time after my healing process. LOL) We had a wonderful run for ten months together and everybody knows that good things come to an end faster than you want it to, so yea.

Hey, Abdar, if you still do come by and read, i still hope that we can somehow work things out. I absolutely have no hard feelings towards you. oh right, you know this already. Ha ha ha.

Stick my head up high & smile,

Diana's yummy goodies for thosegirls.

Thank you for being the best part of my everyday.

xoxo,
Diana

Things like these make you feel like all one needs to get through A's and tough emotional tornadoes are girly love and support, as well as cookies and green tea along with a whole lot of mugging sessions, of course.

There's still plenty to smile about even when things may seem a little tougher and all you sometimes feel like doing is running away from classes.

You know, one day, i'm gonna write a lengthy entry, telling you girls, Jeng, Siti, Peng, Chan, Mo, Nad, Lee, Shafika, Maria and of course Abdar too what i love so much about each and every one of you (:

Whoa whoa.

Pay attention to me while i show you this scenario;

Imagine Farah, Jannah, Eunice, Nadira & Ha sitting around during History and we're all discussing worldly issues that are fit to be aired on a talkshow.

I just felt ultraly super duper HAPPY. Happy to have many many girls around. Happy to know that Eunice is burning with such vibrant fire -- she can tell off any minah who dare try to be funny with her. Imma gonna ask her to teach me some of her skills man. Happy that Farah & Jannah will continue to eat with me. Happy that Ha and Nadira will discuss boys and girls and everything under the sun with me. Oh and of course, happy that my Asean paper exceeded my expectations! (You're right after all, we CAN study together, Abdar.)

So you see, i'm euphoric but weak.

F _ I _ _ _ _

"I love you darling."

It was like the evil faeries scattered dust all over you to make you incapable of any form of response, whatsoever.

The things i never heard hurt so bad.

Little Bursts of Bliss.

I smoothed out my black silk dress and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, asking apprehensively; “Do I look alright?”

In the most endearing way, he gazed at me and replied a little breathlessly, “You look wonderful tonight.”

Then he disappeared just as I was about to reach out for his hand.

I awoke in my Garfield t-shirt and shorts- feeling just a little disappointed and silly. It’s a tad bit sad, thinking about how some of the most magically lovely memories are just figments of imagination, representing some form of desire unconsciously tucked away in drawerfuls of crap stored in my (rather mindless) mind.

I fell asleep to Michael Buble’s “You Look Wonderful Tonight”. No mystery there.

Impressive J-Lit

By Swordfishll

Japanese Literature just so happens to be incredibly thought provoking. Another Murakami, how exciting. I've never thought about identity issues so much before; till after i read Ryu Murakami's "Coin Locker Babies".

Do away with stupid texts like King Lear and give us some real material for Literature next time, alright? I have no sympathy for imbeciles like Lear. Perhaps Shakespeare's intention is to make fools out of those who find that tale a tragedy- Mdm Lee, he's secretly laughing at you in his grave.

Fun, sun and sea with THOSE GIRLS.

It has been ages since i had a girls day out, with many many girls. Haha. I like girls, don't you? Can't believe i got to go, after much begging and rationalizing and all. But i felt a bit guilty, thinking about my parents. Oh well, it was a once off, no? & Eunice, you were dearly missed!

Farah Oreo Jeng

I love you Nurfarah 'Ain bte Abdul Fakar (:
My girlfriend and super eating and whining partner.
I like your house and your kitchen and even Paris, your male rabbit.
Most of all, i like that big jar of Nutella.
Oh, & you, of course!

Valentine's day tomorrow.
Girlfriends, Boyfriend (note, it's singular, duh! Haha) friends and family (:

---

I feel so stupid you know.
I think i write the shortests essays in history, for History.
Tell me your secret; how can you guys find so much to write?

That feeling of elation, all over- from the tip of my hair to the ends of my toenails.

Ho. Abdar adores me!
Can you believe that?
ME!
Just silly soft old flabby me.

Your assurance means alot, after yesterday.

Today, i swear i saw roses and sunflowers springing up as we walked hand in hand, laughing away... Oh yesyes, he sketched me. & i am dead impressed. Lol. Leave me be with this entry. I am just so happy, all over again, from the tips of my hair to the ends of my toenails (:

This happiness is way better than biting into creampuffs. Sigh. I so adore you. You make the words on my History notes seem so simple and easy to understand. You cleared my head and i see things better. Oh shucks, i'd give half of my intestines to you if you ever need a replacement!

Thank you so much for today. Really really.

Bountiful Chinese New Year to you.

One minute i think love makes the world go round.
Next minute I realise one fatal mistake- Love's not a force.
Just some kind of emotion, is it not?

Money= Power
No questions asked, direct and straightforward.

Love? What the hell is it?
The only drug that gives you a buzz, indulging in it, yet never knowing what you're getting yourself into.

Good job, human beings.
We should learn from them animals.

Just squirt and run. Haha

--

I had a good Wednesday with Himself though. He reminded me why i just want to keep cherishing him so much.

Girls are really silly creatures, aren't they? Only boys make them human; complete with full blown emotions and stuff.

Infidelity.

Sombre as it may be, it does not necessarily have to be a tragedy. If you never left anything, or anyone for that matter- how can you have room in your life for something new? Naturally, to move on is infidelity- to your previous loved one, to the past, to old notions of oneself.

Perhaps everyday should contain at least one deliberate and essantial act of infidelity or necessary betrayal. It would be an optimistic, hopeful act, guaranteeing belief in the future- a declaration that things can not only be different but better too.

Infidelity is just an excuse, like any other excuses.

I think i never want to leave you because i'm afraid, and i hope you won't too.

Monyet!

Eh, look, Abdar!
Will you still be my boyfriend? (:

Damn sexy ah.

Now you know, i look like Ah Meng.

Haha.

---

Anyway, i went to watch Hady’s bash,

organised by HapyHadys,

at Temasek Poly today.
Super entertaining & very funny.
And Hady is drop-dead gorgeous and hot and very adorably likable in person.
I have photos but that’ll come some other time, okay?
Hady and his little nephew, Imran Mirza- the love of his life!
Awww.
My brain melted you know;
I was confused between hating kids & loving Hady’s infectious adoration for his nephew.
I have essays to complete at the moment.
So I shall continue story-telling another time.

P/S;

A week since we last met.

I miss ONLY YOU.

mmmkay.

The girls in class are hilarious.
Daily stories of fun and well... others.
& they bring some colour into school days :)
teng,peng,mo,chan,lee,siti.

Maybe i'm not very clickable?
Or is it that i just don't know what to say most of the time?
After all my input is pretty limited.

Anyway, here's something that i found super duper funny;

Amirul's Ice Lemon Tree, y'all

Kay i'm retarded. Toodles.