To live by

Of commercials and what nots.

I'm sure you've all caught at least one of Yasmin Ahmad's commercials... and this is my favourite one.



It's so adorable. And it comes across unrehearsed and genuine.

I don't really like the MCYS funeral "beautifully imperfect" one. Firstly, an imperfection can be perfected, if need be. Snoring, if you ask me, is a bit too difficult to give up because even surgery can fail. Farting, is another thing that shouldn't be considered as an imperfection. It's a bodily function! Not farting is the imperfection. And if one accepts a person, flaws and all, than it doesn't qualify as an imperfection anymore, does it? Snoring, in this case obviously becomes a trait that she grew fond off. Don't tell me that it became "beautifully imperfect". It is something she got used to and grew to appreciate.

You know what I propose would be a better example of something beautiful yet imperfect... A fat wife whom the husband cannot help but love anyway, despite hating the gut that spills out from the side of her jeans.

In this case, obviously, the wife can do something about her weight but chooses not to - thus the imperfection. The beauty of it all lies here; picture the poor husband who goes to sleep with a fattay every night, yet never once commited adultery because he loves everything else about her WITH THE EXCEPTION OF HER WEIGHT. Now if this is not beautiful and imperfect, I do not know what is.

Click here to watch the MCYS Funeral commercial.

Now I'm thinking about how fat I've become. I better lose the gut. Before I get all sorts of weight related diseases and become completely imperfect and maybe even invalid.

make up your mind.

My bestie is right.

I have succumbed to blogging again. My supposed "lock" lasted less than 24 hours. My rationale for locking it is simply because my obsession with editting and re-posting entries have gotten the best of me. Sometimes I write and re-write certain portions of my entry, just because I feel this unfathomable desire to restructure my sentences. It's sick. Broccolee is the only malleable thing I have left; to shape and mould and control to my heart's content.

I shall not obsess. I shall not. I need this space here to function, sadly. And it doesn't have anything to do with writing anymore.

Took seven minutes to write this short entry and I am not turning back to edit ANYTHING.

Cuckoo doodle doo

I put my iPod on shuffle and asked her some very serious questions.

I asked her when I should start dieting and she told me: AFTER
TONIGHT. Damn, she's good.

You should try it too! I spent frikin 45mins playing fortune teller
with Lola. I know. I'm insane.

Gonna continue reading Lolita now, I guess. And I can't meet up with
the girls tonight! So sad.

I don't know why I blog anymore. So pointless.

I keep waking up sweating after nightmares of cousins dying and why is
it that the guy in my dreams always ALWAYS have very thick feet?? It's
hideous. Who is that guy and why the heck does he have such thick feet?!

Sent from my iPod, Lola Smokah

jump jump jump

Hahahahahahahaha. Spiderman inspired. Though it turned out looking a bit like a flying fat bat. I almost killed my sunglasses, doing this. Come to think of it, I look scary. But still: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Nexxxxxt!

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more choices

LaSelle's art management?

or

to deviate completely and study law (my childhood ambition) with the University of London?

or

go directly into journalism with Monash?

With a law degree, more doors will open, art management will probably be something i would really enjoy and yet... at the end of the day I want to write. Maybe I can write about law related issues?

My problem is committing to a choice. It's a problem because I don't know how much I want it in the first place. Can I really make a choice and stick to it 100%? Why would I pay so much for a private degree... doing a similar course which is offered by NUS/NTU right? What relavance would my degree have in our market then? A law degree, on the other hand... would allow me to branch out afterwards - into compliance, litigation and even journalism. Question is, will I be able to handle it? I died studying History, what makes me think I can get a decent law degree?

And lately, my attention span is two weeks, at most. Goodness, I must be the flakiest person alive. I'm just writing it all down. Hopefully it'll make more sense.

Happy Birthday to my Dad. We don't get along famously. But thank you for allowing me to make my own choices, giving me plenty of space to do what i want, always. I know you hate it when I go out and we always fight but yet you're still nice enough to not give up on me (I also know that despite everything you still think I'm smart... right or not abah? hahaha) I don't know what to say but I guess that's okay... because nobody knows me like you and mama. My horrible habits (the boys, sleeping till noon or later, never lifting a finger to mop the house/cook/dust our crystal vases and many more) and everything, yet still putting up with them... Filial piety is my worst quality but lets all hope and pray that I'll redeem myself one day.

FULL STOP

I am back and I haven't slept in over fifty hours it is driving me nuts so can i just put a gun to my head and sleep forever i guess not cause that would mean suicide and i am a firm believer in the sanctity of life and all that crap unless you are hooked to machines then please by all means just die already cause what is the point of keeping a vegetable alive hmmm vegetables are actually useful because you can eat them and they keep you healthy and stuff like that okay where was i oh ya dying yes i dont want to die because people would have to bathe me since its a muslim practice and i dont want strangers to see my naked body its like so sad since i'm a virgin and nobody's seen me naked before so i don't want some stranger washing me stark naked and dead plus on top of it all I am two kg heavier than normal so that means i'll look worse so yes i don't want to die yet even though it seems like the most logical thing to do considering the fact that i really don't know what to do no no no i am not sad i am not depressed i just reaally feel like i'm wasting so much time that i do not deserve to have this beautiful gift or curse... i should give all my time to people who need time and that will be my contribution to make this world a better place so maybe i'd die and they would erect a big statue of me in the middle of nowhere (because nowhere seems to be the place i spend most of my time at) and remember me as the girl who donated all the time that she was supposed to live out on earth to mankind wow isn't she awesome and selfless which is all bogus because everybody knows that i'm actually selfish unless i love you or something like that i mean like seriously what the hell do i know about being in love its just a small word that happens to occupy alot of time just think about all the books, songs, sonnets, blog entries and wills and crimes committed, all in the name of love omg it all revolves around love doesn't it scare you boy it scares me can we ever escape it no because it doesn't make sense to live for anything else have you ever heard about people who live for money yes i suppose there was Miss Havisham who must have died unhappy i cannot really remember that story right now but i don't think i live for love because i believe that we all have a purpose and maybe my purpose in life is to be a good sister, eventually or to be a good friend or to donate time so you see there are plenty of possibilities!

if you read the whole thing than i guess you must be a really good friend or auntie of mine who cares but that is just what i want to believe i would believe anything lovely at this point so take advantage of my gullibility right now offer ends soon tyvm woooh i just wrote something that will be published uncut, unexpurgated and not edited

Lost in translation

Shit I really don't have a back up plan so I have just prayed for the
unthinkable, trying to strike a deal with the Almighty - a place in
the local university and I wouldn't even complain if I get fat, lonely
and unhappy. Lousy deal but its the only thing that i really need now.
It sucks when you know that your grades are acceptable, just that
somehow, they don't want you. Maybe it's karma. Or maybe some people
are just born to be rejected. Suck it up. I was so sure that I was
gonna screw up A's so I made all sorts of plans but after getting my
results, I just narrowed everything down to those two. And everything
is backfiring.

Plus, I just realized that I blew my supposed driving lesson funds on
Greece. Two weeks will pass, just like that and all I have to show for
it are a couple of indulgent photos. It's a consolation that money can
be replenished, unlike say, intangible stuff like warm fuzzy feelings.
I smartened up a little, this past week. No amount of decadent
jewellery, beautiful scenery and travelling can compare to that simple
spot of bliss I stumbled on earlier this year.

Haha I give up. Maybe if I quit looking for signs & directions, and
just sit in one place and stare at the sky, something'll come through.
Please let it be school.

Sent from my iPod, Lola Smokah

My great greek escape

Meteora, where we visited monastaries and such.

Lunch with auntie at some restaurant, on the way to Olympia

Lazy Greek cat on the island of Hydra

Happy jump shots at the Acropolis

Sad because we just forked out SGD 9 for our sour slurpees! What the hell.

Lunch at Plaka - shopping district

Just some photos, to share. Had an amazing time. Though I think i have this unbelievable preferance for cities - like Frankfurt and Paris. Quaint little towns are a refreshing change! Can you see just how happy I look?

Love how the air here is not humid. Temperatures may go all the way up to 39 degrees but at least its dry. And I'd just like to rave about their toilets and subways! SUPER CLEAN!!! And odourless! Greeks have this considerate way of keeping toilet seats clean and dry. Like how civilised people are expected to be - NO ONE pees outside the designated area... a common occurance in Sg. Please place your peepees strategically before blasting. Sheesh. It's like, one of the first few things we were taught in life, no?

Next, imma talk about them Greek guys. One wonders why their gods and goddeses are portrayed without clothes most of the time. My cousin and I concluded that it must be because all the guys look so awesomely hot and steamy (yes, we saw many MANY) that all the women find it rather convenient to be naked, so they can cover as much ground as possible... and go on a sex spree. Sighhhhhh. On the trains, walking in their sandals, covered in just singlet. Gorgeousness crawling all ovahh the place, seeping through my pores, i swear. Quite a sight to drink in.

Okay I'm tired now. Till later then.

Thinking about Singapore, home and real life is equivalent to waking
up to an amputated leg. I don't ever want to come back and leave
fantasy land, where everything feels possible... Where life actually
IS bigger than anything I've ever known! I feel so vibrant and
invincible here, like as though I have rainbows running through my
veins and sunset in my hair. Here, I AM that girl with kelaidoscope
eyes.

Sent from my iPod, Lola Smokah

Long journeys

I am back in Athens, after days on mountains... and small villages on
them mountains. I think I can stand to watch grass grow all day! The
air is just amazing. And the older men here are sexy, in that
dignified clooney way. I really want to eat nasi goreng sey!
Fishfishfish all the time. If u know me, you know just how much I
dislike fish, unless it's fillet-o-fish la. And I think I've consumed
more olive oil in the past week than I have my entire nineteen years.
My skin cleared up - thanks to an overdose on tomatoes and I am super
tanned now aaaaaaah! Hahaha. I don't like it but oh well, everything
else is just peachy! Greece, baby, is divine!!!

Ok it's seven thirty here and we're gonna look for someone to take us
to santorini tmr. Till later!

Sent from my iPod, Lola Smokah

i'd be better when i'm older.

funny bone

Read this on Ashikin Noraini's facebook page:

"YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge into one super time wasting
website called YouTwitFace."

I cannot take it. Such hilarious things must be reposted and shared. Hahaha

Sing-a-long

I've got these two songs stuck in my head; T-pain's Right Round and Christina A's Genie in a bottle.

So this is how it sounds like:

You spin my head right round right round - Imma genie in a bottle babehh, come come set me free- when you go down when you go down DOWN.

Whuut the hell right. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.

wheeeee

Seven hours of shopping fixed me well. I now have a reason to live. See, if i die, who is gonna wear all my pretty new clothes? My buys are aweeesome (and inexpensive - I LOVE YOU SG and your ingenious GSS!)

I have cute leather sandals, an adorable lacy dress (matchy-matchy with Farah)... a few other knick-knacks and THE BEST PART.... an EPILATOR!!!!

Mission accomplished. I've been wanting one since my last A'level paper (seven months ago) but along the way I somehow forgot about my obsession with hair-removal by the roots. If you need me, I'll be at home, epilating away. Wheeeee. If you think i'm a loser, getting excited over hair removal - i don't care. Because at the end of the day, you're still gonna be hairier than ME! Hahaha. Gilerr.

It's easier to write.

You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it. Dare not say that a man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant.

Wrote Captain Wentworth, in a letter to Anne Elliott (Persuasion, Jane Austen)

I need to occupy myself with a new project or something. Mmmm i think i smell good tonight.

moments like those

Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!

Chandler: You’re a little high maintenance.

Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.

Chandler: I’m sorry. You’re not easy-going, but you’re passionate, and that’s good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that I’m pretty good about making you feel better about that. And that’s good too. So, they can say that you’re high maintenance, but it’s okay, because I like … maintaining you.

(Season 6; The one with the Joke)

I want a Chandler. Is that too much to ask for? He's not even cute. But he could be real.

I had a great time today. But somehow, it did not end too good (getting sappy & sentimental). You take very good care of yourself okay Amirul. Don't let smelly bunk mates get you down. And Yanni is right - if not for YOU, the six/seven of us wouldn't be as close as we are today. You know what else? I think it started with F.R.I.E.N.D.S at your place after school... all those distant years ago.

Chris Mann's, Heartless

Listen to Chris's version (: I think it's better than both Kris's and Kanye's.

pointlessness

Playing aerosmith's "hate myself for loving you" on fake guitars was the last thing i concentrated on. That's Idham. He calls me fat & makes me sad.

tough luck

I've been up since i don't know when attempting to really draft my appeal to NUS. It's never gonna be good enough.

I'd like to grovel at their feet in person - i think it'll be more effective, no? Help me help me.

You're like a carton of milk pass its expiry date. An accidental chug and hence; the poisoning. Yes it's uncomfortable and makes me feel like passing out - but still not enough to finish me off.

Another thing; i never thought that people going off for NS can affect me in any way at all. So it's shocking to think that I'm gonna miss you so much Ami. Okay i better get that appeal letter outta my way so i can spend time with you... & watch MTV and be besties for the next 4 days!