What happened to all the nice guys?

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

Source: Craiglist

P/S: Hmmm this is a useful reminder to myself. But why do the "nice" ones always have to be so... not good-looking? Or gay.

Starting on a good note, hopefully.

So finally, I'm twenty. Before you know it, I'd be thirty and suddenly, 29 year-old guys would be considered too young for me. How now?

Was telling some people the other day, about how I refuse to pusing (turn twenty, translated directly and retardedly). I still can't ride a bike, as in bycicle. Neither can I drive. Because I'm useless like that.

I was just apprehensive about the entire day. Didn't make concrete plans... And I was wary... thinking about what happened last year... you can read it here.

And I just felt really fat, even though the scales boasted a lighter me. But come on look at my photos. I have seven YO MOMMA SO FAT jokes directed at myself, in my head, right about now. Maybe it was the pretty but unflattering top. Oh well. What to do. Fat then fat ah, moving on.

I met up with Farah that evening, with plans to catch SIREN. Was spectacular, btw. I loved it. And it felt awesome to have been a part of the process... a really small part (yeah FOH and what not) but still... sitting there, it just hit me; i'm at a place where talent is brewed like wine! The energy was good... the audience left a tad uncomfortable (because of the interaction on stage and off stage) and there was lots of skin. LIKE W-O-W kind of milky skin.

Ok, actually... the whole point of this entry is to talk about this book, that I got :)





















And there you go, courtesy of Zoe, Aida, Fara and Jay! My goodness... with friends like these... who needs the one, like seriously! Hahaha. Thank you, for all the effort that went in, for making me laugh so hard, for making me shout in glee when I saw what the book was all about... and moreover, thank you for the ride this past 5 months in school.

You know which one's my favourite? The one of the four of you... the last page. Frikin awesome. I can totally feel love diffusing through the pages. I see physics, chemistry and all that! Yay. It makes me sooo happy.

Okay. Gotta quit gushing. Can't figure out why some of the photos are vertical. So weird. Can't seem to rotate them. Blogger screws things up again.

Ended the night with brownies, just Farah and me alone. And we walked through Arab St... singing, spirits high... night young... head spinning and stomach bloated. Never, ever take 61 back to Bukit Batok from Bugis. ARGH. Cabbed back.

So that was my twentieth. And to think that there was a pre-celebration before this. I am just so touched.

Thank you, Allah, for all the blessings. Thank You for reminding me how lucky I am, Thank You for second chances, Thank You for making me fat (because I think I'd be damn arrogant if I were skinny), Thank You for answering my prayers... even though sometimes I don't notice it. Thank You for being patient with me. Thank You for not giving me everything that I want... but instead gave me the strength to carry on, the will to achieve and also the failures... to keep me grounded.

Most of all, Thank You, for bringing people into my life, and for showing me that so many things can still be right... even though there are so many things that are simultaneously wrong.

P/S: To Aida and Zoe... you two taught me that there are indeed simple pleasures in life. I'll make it a point to look up at the pretty sky and smile, every single day. And if the sky isn't pretty enough... well there'll be other pretty things along the way that doesn't necessarily have to be displayed in a store!

Ok enough mushiness. This is a super long entry. Enough to last a lifetime of blogging man.

In the midst of turning

Hey lola.

Guess I'll be welcoming tomorrow with a terrible, throbbing headache.
I haven't felt pretty in so long... Feeling like so goddamn old and
haggard now. I just wanna sleep.

And I love my family alot. They drive me crazy but I drive them
crazier. They love me too! No strings attached :) I cannot imagine
life without my sisters! And I miss my opah very much. I haven't had
time to pop in and visit her... Since I started running around, with
school and my 3 jobs. It's been hectic and crazy lately.

I'm just hoping that I won't look so ugly tomorrow. That will suck. I
found my first ever white hair... At the MCYS award ceremony while
studying my wrinkles under the museum's harsh lighting. Guess maybe
events isn't for me after all! It's working too hard, for too little.
Hmmm. My auntie would say that we all have to start somewhere but is
it necessary to begin all the way at the bottom? Nyeh.

I've still got lots to learn. I just wanna write, honestly. That is
one thing that hasn't changed. Yes, even when I open my twenty year
old eyelids tomorrow morning, God willing, of course.

Sent from my iPod, Lola Smokah

You, you make an awful friend, don't you? Haha. No, you're not as great as you think you are. And no, you are definitely not indispensable.

And you. I can't be disappointed with you. I can't be angry. I can't be anything, without making you belittle me, or shoot down whatever i'm feeling because I can't justify these emotions. And I can't tell you either because you'll get defensive. We won't be able to have a calm conversation. I won't know where to begin explaining it. You wouldn't understand. I'd be wrong. I'm always wrong because you can never be. Yes your reasons are valid, and mine are all second class next to yours. But don't what I feel count for something for a change? To think we're close. I'm getting tired.

And Broccolee. You're not helping either. Writing all these down isn't gonna change anything. Blogging has reduced me to writing my thoughts down, not confront them. And I need to be able to face them.

For Farah

Do you want to know what's the most expensive dessert in the world?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

It's a $1000 sundae!!!!

Served at Serendipity 3, a popular restaurant in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. The $1000 sundae was introduced in 2004 and was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the most expensive dessert. It’s made up of 5 scoops of the richest Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream, Madagascar vanilla, 23K edible gold leaf and one of the most expensive chocolates in the world, Amedei Porceleana.

For more info on crazy food at crazier prices, check it out here

Check out the most expensive drink man.... all the way at the bottom. OMG. Thank God it's not bubble tea!

Switches

There must be a switch somewhere.
It's pitch black. Feeling around.
Here. I'm touching it, I pressed.
Somewhere else, they cut the cord.
"Get used to the dark."

---

Time check: 8:40 am

Just got the damned press release done. Fucking annoyed this morning because I had to fluff believable stuff up, for a stupid wind orchestra that has got no online presence, at bloody all. Also annoyed with the fact that we won't know how we've fared throughout this entire semester... until it ends. And when I fail. I have a bad feeling about the results. And my 66% attendance. I kinda miss those times back in school when they return you the exam papers. I used to laugh at my single digit history scores. It was funny. Really, it was.

Chips & more

I want potato chips?

Character flaw

I think my biggest problem is taking everything a bit too lightly.

I just think that it's no big deal! There really isn't a problem. I
don't expect much and I certaintly don't like it when small things are
blown out of proportion.

My attention span is damn short and retarded. Already losing interest
in it all. Moving on!

Sent from my iPod, Lola Smokah

If you don't like that, then send it right back.

I just scrapped a very emotional entry.
I hate the momo monster, no joke.
It strikes when you're no longer high on company.
I need to exorcise these monsters, once and for all.
Question is, how?

I wanna be on you (stuck in my head sia that song)

Mr J's done it everywhere but the hospital bed.

Masked (elevator) riders

I think this week's an awesome one. I worked and played and laughed really hard. Yay. One week down... another week to go before we're free to do whatever we damn well please! Jay's up and about, so he's fine now :) Already tidying up our marketing project, I suppose. Hahaha GO TO SLEEP LA YOU.

Zoe asked the funniest and bestest question ever today at Kampung Glam Cafe. After observing some malays exchanging a greeting, she went, "Ask you all ah... why do you have to touch yourself when you say hello?" OMGGGGG. Seriously. We showed her alright, how we "touch" ourselves after doing the salaam. LOL. The poor girl totally regretted asking. My gawd, I still laugh when I think about it. I'm laughing now. Love you Zoe.

And that strawberry lime drink is simply awesome! Wish I brought home the unfinished juice. Would love some right now.

Life cycle

And thus November begins, again.