Wisteria Lane

So addicted to Desperate Housewives.

Since nothing is going right - my internet connection went wrong too. Am suffering from withdrawal symptoms; I... NEED... MORE... BREE!

I don't recognise sleep anymore & neither does it know me.

I haven't touched google news ever since I quit work. Such ignorance used to bother me but as of late... i'd rather not be swamped with even more sadness pertaining to "the bigger picture" at this point.

Come on... stream the video before i type a dozen of such entries!!!! I so need to detox myself off broccolee but i cant because i've been drugged good. I'm like a dog with rabies when it comes to blogging, s'riously.

north south east west who da best?

& we had some roti john lovin' yesterday at simpang,

After Ahmad's power nap

After helping Yanni move out of her dorm and back home.

After Ami flirted with the carwash lady (?) while our ride got cleaned up.

After we were forced to pick Zul up from Loyang (eee i hate the way 'loyang' sounds).

I swear it tastes better than it looks okay.

I like this picture. Hit him Yanni!

The boys got themselves toys.

P/S: I got myself something much more sophisticated. Haha. Omg i can't believe i bought a ________. I think my life is so sad.

P/P/S: What would i do if none of you wants to be friends with me?

I have only the whole month of May to figure out how to make enough for June. But it is quite pointless... because my mother refuses to let me work as she enjoys housing a moping bum. This sucks since I've got an internship offer this morning. And I am still waiting for the only two phonecalls that matter at this moment. C'mon NUS/NTU. I'll be your most dedicated student.

I want to go to school, sit for exams, stay in their dorms. Then I wanna make lots of noise about school, exams, crappy living conditions + food. I want all that. I need.

smack down.

Played out -
I've lost.
I'm lost.
Yet i miss playing;
with you.

I'd like to think i'm smart. With great instincts and an even better head screwed on my shoulders. Obviously my judgements have gone awry.

S-O-S

This week, I was forced to think about my favourite and only ex-bf because I re-organised my room out of sheer boredom. It's a habit of mine to keep all happy as well as depressing events recorded and filed away tangibly. I came across journals, movie stubs, little trinkets, pieces of paper, drawings, paper boats, exam papers with squiggles.. and among the weirder stuff - doa untuk tidak lapar!

Here's a story: I complained a whole lot about my weight when i was with Abdar because i didn't want us to look like a "number 10" couple. So my darling then-bf tried to help me by sourcing out for the easiest and most creative method to lose weight... he searched and found that doa... wrote it super nicely for me on paper and presented it to me very happily, thinking he's such a smartie. When i first saw it, i didn't know whether to slap him (for insulting me) or just marry him there and then. Good times. Happy days.

Truthfully, it's pretty self-destructing to document everything. Because reliving something that will never happen again is like tempting despair to come lick your toes before swallowing you whole... especially when you're teetering between helium happy and well, dead fucked.

Thanks to Idham, who traumatised me... i cannot sleep thinking about how fat I am. I just did dips and twist'n'shaped my nuggets away. If one day, you see me walking down the street looking less tofu-ish and more like half-a-tofu, it's all thanks to Ham and his incessant "fatfatfat". Remind me again why we're friends! Oh that's right... i get on ultra well with bastards :)

On a very annoyed note: My mouth is getting filthier by the minute. Been cursing like a sailor on strike. What. The. Hell.

selamat hari raya!

I attended her wedding (Jana's aunty) while thinking that I was attending Jana's the whole time.. Selamat pengantin baru! Omg, i have just realised that my title is "selamat hari raya". Okay let's leave it that way because I am finding it hilarious.

That purple shiny, slinky top, i'm wearing, is the same one i wore on prom night, close to 4 years ago. Haha. I wanted Zul to notice me. Obviously, my strategy failed. I thought I'd never see Zul again, after the first 3 months at MI. Well, guess what? I saw him again after 3 years! And we're all friends (:

Actually, the most important thing is that I'm not ugly anymore. Check these out, people.





Okay see, Zul is the smiling botak one in this picture! Not the angry botak one. Noooo, i did not want to marry him. Just wanted to be his gf. HAHAHAHA.
Zafirah! The smarty.

I think this was taken at the esplanade. After cny celebrations in school!

Racial Harmony day! Suhaila is absolutely stunning. Look at the piece of shit standing beside her.


My two bestest buddies; Yanni and Clara.

With Jonathan and Myn Quan - the people who helped me get through final year with 4E2.

And see, told you I wore the same top, prom night 2005. Sigh. It was my birthday too.But it was so sucky.Because I was freakishly fugly.

But i guess, external hideousness can be shed....

I think the secret lies in the hair, s'riously.

You see. We grew up. And learnt that happy endings don't come easy nor often. I'm glad to report that all of us are still alive.

And MOST IMPORTANTLY - BETTER LOOKING!!!!!!

Finally caught Twilight; the movie.

I can't believe how incredibly STUPID, Twilight is. What a croc. How can so many people be infatuated with a concept that is in no way original nor even remotely interesting? It's ridiculously STUPID! The movie was so fucking annoying I wanted to bite bloody Bella (Kristen Stewart) myself and get it over and done with. And don't get me started with Edward bloody-predictably-emotional Cullen (Robert Pattison) and how un-vampirish he was. He's got no presence. No looks, no value-added anything. Teens these days! How can you people go nuts about how cute he is?? Have you guys never set eyes upon George Clooney or even pretty boy Zac Effron?? Am I the only sane person left in this world with decent taste in movie-star gorgeous men???? I like Keanu Reeves, Denzel Washington and Will Smith too, btw. Oh and Pitt. And Depp. Heh.

And please. Their love is really so irrevocably unrealistic, also shallow and corrupted that I laughed my ass off everytime a supposedly intimate scene comes on. She is the stupidest STUPID character ever created and so completely one-dimensional, that she bores the shit, vomit and feaces out of even the dullest of sloths hanging off a tree branch! Holy cow, pigs and rhinos; I simply cannot put into words how legitimately pissed I am with this movie... that got so many people swept away and infected by its decadent blandness.

The book itself is poorly written, incomparable to even Russel Lee's ghost stories (uh yeah, damn scary) but is admittedly, still a charming enough read! I only hafta scan through the first and last lines on every page and quite bluntly put, even a 2 year-old can figure out what happened in between. Meyer has a style that is simple and clean; something that i find commendable. She's not into description (*hallelujah* - screams her devout Christian readers). See, if she does go into detail with trivialities - she'd be wasting resources, printing those additional words which everybody would just skip, knowing how unbearably cliched & repetitive her writing is. Still, i can understand why her books sell - they provide such an effortless escape! You can totally shut your eyes and read it. Don't need to use even the slightest bit of brain power - good for when you're really tired and bitched-out. It's easy, fun and FAST. Like a professional call-girl (i think?)

I just really hate the movie!!! UNCONDITIONALLY AND IRREVOCABLY LOATHE THAT BLOODY MOVIE - the same way Bella supposedly describes her love for Edward. Eww. You pathetic excuse of a heroine. In case you're wondering, I did watch the movie to the end and it's only because I want to confirm and justify my utter dissatisfaction and disgust with TWILIGHT. Don't say that I did not give the movie a chance to change my mind. I found nothing that might possibly salvage whatever minute dignity the plot has.

Okay, maybe, the whole charm of this entire series lies in how alarmingly imbecilic it all is. I, for one, found pleasure in criticizing this. Hehe. Saje eh, nak cari pasal.

Friends

When good girlfriends get together, time seems to stand still. We start to giggle, our postures growing more relaxed and our bodies soften like warm toffee. Sometimes we don't even know why we like each other so much. Perhaps it is just that we drew comfort from each other's existence; it allows us to forgive ourselves because somehow, there is someone else even weaker and more confused. We are not alone. And will not be.


Amanda Seyfried - honey honey (from Mamma Mia) - Marko

I absolutely adore this scene from Mamma Mia! Love how the movie infuses feel-good vibes, all over. Mmmmm yummy happy feelings. Makes you feel like twirling around, before jumping into the sea.

Honey honey, how he thrills me,
a-ha honey honey,
honey honey, nearly kills me
a-ha honey honey
I've heard about him before,
I wanted to know some more,
and now I know what they mean,
he's a love machine!
oh he makes me dizzy!!!

I want to wear Mamma Mia inspired clothes. Ha.

Think Thang

It is still not enough for language to have clarity and content... it must also have a goal and an imperative. Otherwise, from language we descend to chatter, from chatter to babble and from babble to confusion.

- Rene Daumal (1908 - 1944) French poet and critic

Yeah I think we are a bunch of confused homosapiens because less and less people use language the proper way; which is TO GET THINGS DONE. We simply attempt to make proper conversation but end up babbling our heads off and then get our babbley selves into one big gargantuan mess.

Consider this, if Adam never spoke to Eve, convincing her that it's alright to eat the apple, Eve would still be enjoying eternal bliss in heaven. Satan only meant to influence Adam because obviously, even at a time when things were neutral between genders, before women started the feminist movement in attempts to be heard despite not being granted with one of those dangly penises... the devil was already well aware that men are generally more eager to compromise morals like trust and integrity for a short preview of, well, anything, basically. Viola, thus the "adam's apple", as a constant reminder (though sometimes i admit it's really sexy when it bobs up and down to the beat of conversation).

My point is - Eve should not have engaged in mindless chatter with Adam. Should she have asked the Almighty for a rabbit to play with instead, she wouldn't find herself tempted by the thought of tasting forbidden fruit. Seriously, i believe that she was actually on a diet when it all happened. I mean, being naked and all up there must have made her all self-conscious, yes? Men have always ALWAYS posed as the biggest problem for women, i swear. Urgh and it pisses me off to think about how long women have had to work, to try and please them! Since the beginning of existance itself! Imagine that! So if you have a wife or gf, go kiss her and tell her how much you appreciate her. Oh boo, i'm alone... which is a damn good place to be in, considering all the trouble! Damn right i am. I'll slap myself in a bit.

Anyway, back to my story, Adam would have gotten kicked out of the Garden of Eden ALONE and started the whole trend of beastiality early (suppose there really weren't any call girls he can look up in the Yellow Pages... since Adam and Eve were definitely not Chinese and we all knew that it was really the Chinese who invented paper in the first place... and the Chinese came much much later... so yes, it is for sure that Adam could not have had any female companion AT ALL should Eve have stuck to her guns and put her Christian Louboutin claded feet down - don't ask me how come Louboutins came before the chinese, it's in heaven sooooo... anything goes!)

Eve would have continued her stay in awesome seventh heaven and knowing that God is extremely fair, for her good behaviour, i'm sure that she would be awarded with another man with better and stronger will power. And then maybe we'd all still be there today, assuming that we weren't hugely corrupted and got thrown back down to earth, ceteris paribus.

So you see, communication causes much distress, contrary to popular belief. We should all just shut up and keep silent. Maybe that will ease any form of temptation away. Of course, us, being descendants of Adam and Eve; translation - lousy, faulty human beings, would undeniably be tempted to TALK. And so, begins the whole problem since we mostly open our mouths without a clear goal in mind anyway! Hence is the root cause of all our problems - be it modern, pressing matters like whether or not Obama can pull us/US out of crisis by calling for co-operation with NATO (huh fat hope! look at what you're doing! trying to communicate with NATO. Siow ar!) Or, something closer to our hearts like why did he/she stop loving me... *cries*... communicating is still the main cause of it all! See, if we all never spoke in the first place, none of it would have happened.

"I fuck you up, you fuck me up. Okay dah, bye." - A very ideal situation, yes?

NOTHING will ever be mentioned or talked about or analysed deeper than necessary. And we all know... that the less you speak about something, the more likely it will be quickly forgotten - hey just look at Mas Slamat (I bet you hadta google cause you forgot about him riiight)!

And if you've read this entry all the way to the very end, i'm sure you would have realised that it is one huge babble. I proclaim this entry "Thinking without a cause". Thank you very much.

With that, i bid you, selamat malam and don't speak.

:/

I'm gonna lose myself in every city that never sleeps.
I'm not looking, I'm not.
I'm living.
Negativity's so last month.

go, going, gone, goner, gonest.

I am fortunate enough - cause I'm never bored.

Omg I wish I can eat and not be fat :(

Goodnight.

P/S: Did i mention how thrilled I am to have mitchy-matchy phones with you?


xoxo GossipGirl.

(hahahaha feeling it!)

Remember

When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.

For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I'm feeling sad, it's my consolation. When I'm feeling happy, it's part of why I feel that way.

If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget, part of who I am will be gone.

- Frederick Buechner (American author b. 1926)

"Imaaan, you wanna eat rice or noodle?" - DOODLE!

This is the chronicles of my first baby sitting experience, ever. EVER. Let me repeat - EVERR. Iman is the first kid I've ever entertained for more than an hour. It was...

At around 6:30 pm, i accompanied Farah to pick him up from school. Muhd Iman was all cranky and incredibly disappointed when he saw that his mommy wasn't there to pick him up. He really hated me la. Look at how he clung on to Farah like his life depended on it. I was so sure that it was gonna be the longest evening of my life.

He refused to even look at me ah! But you must admit though, Farah handles the kid like a pro. It was like i was being introduced to her very own kid! She is brilliant with kiddos. Really. I would completely trust my kid, husband and family pets with her, without hesitation. If i ever have those.

Oh anyway, much to my delight, Iman cosied up to me!!!

In the span of less than an hour, he led me to the bathroom, stripped naked and asked me to...


BATHE HIM. Fast eh this boy. "Hot water, HOT WATER!" And so I obliged. My first time, I swear. Not a bad first attempt right!

Then after dressing him up (and after Farah cleared the mess he made in the kitchen), we all settled down with clean, nice smelling, Iman! He's a really smart 2 and a half year old! Pretty impressive kid. He knows many words. He is also the most cheena sounding baby I've ever met. Then again, he's the only half chinese kid I've spent time with. Yes he's half chinese and the only thing that's even remotely melayu about him is his name. The "mehs" ahhh... really cannot tahan man. And he loves "Wheels on the bus".


Then we played,

and played...

and showered Iman with a lot of LOVE!

"Iman you sayang Kaka or not?"

*nods*

"Atuk?"

*vigorously nods*

Okay putting him to sleep was a challenge. But Farah managed it, as you can see.

Still, anybody wanna hire us? Haha. Or maybe just Farah? Drop us a note and maybe something can be arranged.

I finally have to agree with Farah; boys are a whole lot much more fun than baby girls. I like listening to Iman talk, even though it makes no sense. But you can somehow make out what he's trying to say. Really. And he is so well behaved. I didn't even have to threaten to throw him out of the window (which i did anyway and made him scream in terror... just so i could see his reaction, damn funny!)

It was fun and I probably won't mind doing this again. Not alone though. I wouldn't know what to do if he really jumps out of the window. At least with a goldfish, you can maybe get away with a replacement. A dog, you can blame it on the dog's own stupidity but a kid?? Omg i'm scaring myself just thinking about it.

Routine quirks

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.

I am not insane. I do the same thing over and over... BUT I get different results each and everytime - just that things get worse and worse with every attempt.

"So that makes you doubly insane," says that tiny, all-knowing voice in my head.

I'd like to think I'm just hopeful.

Hope is to secretly expect something without investing much effort to translate it into reality. When expectations are not met, you will be greeted with disappointment and subsequently, insanity will be your only friend.

This is so because you will keep doing the same thing over and over (which in this case is to hope), even if you know damn well that the outcome will remain unchanged... or worse off than before.

You know what they say; lonely people read what lonelier people write. That makes me twice as lonely, in theory. And much to my dismay, i believe it's a proven hypothesis - look, a fact of life.

So small.

So Small - Matt Giraud

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count cause you can't get it back

• Love cannot be all that matters after all because not everybody is fortunate/unfortunate enough. Absolute terms should not be used so loosely.

Dear Yanni,

Firstly I just want to let you know that you've been the best ever! Thank you for being there for me throughout the whole of last week. Thank you for your smses thank you for coming down. Thank you for being YOU. You taught me how to be a friend. You taught me what friendship is truly all about. It's not just about being nice to each other, neither is it merely humoring each other... shopping and have picnics, laugh and play together - NO. It's about telling each other off and pointing out mistakes. It's about fighting and then reconciling. It's about seeing each other at their worst ever state, seeing them through and yet still be able to forgive and understand. For that, THANK YOU.

And i'm so so so sorry that I gave you so much pain on your 20th! But you gotta admit, it looked wayy HOT, before you took it off and see, now you hafta put yourself through it again. TSK. It was my pleasure, anyway. Just so you know. And please don't haemorrhage to death.

And you must not look so sad like this anymore:



It always breaks my heart everytime you get so down. You know you're ALL THAT and even more so what if you have to go through a few wrongs? It was great while it lasted and that's what matters! It's sad that not everything lasts but you know damn well that our friendship, at least will. And I'll put up ONE HUGE STRUGGLE if it doesn't.

To Yanni, to all the naughty things she did, to love, to lost, to her smartiness, to sexyness, to a life full of energy and impulsivity, to her kind hearted intentions, to Literature, to un-shallowness, to great companionship, TO FRIENDSHIP! Have a good 20th.

Seven years and still going strong :) Do not lose touch and if you ever intend to relocate to Doha you better tell me first!

P/S: Look, I have a big-ass picture of YOU taking up space on my blog! That shows how very special you are :) No one else got lorh! HAHAHA

P/P/S: We may both have the suckiest experiences and lousiest luck when it comes to guys but heck I'm glad i have friends like you to make up for it. You can't have it all but I'm glad i have THIS.