How now, I've wasted precious time moping & not thinking about how to make money. I've been useless. "Depression" or rather, in my case, getting upset usually helps facilitate my money making endeavors. But today... I have nothing. NOTHING.
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I can't even buy my miseries away. Now this is a crisis. I think I should apply for leave from school again... Do you think Suyin would approve of it?
Okay, I've made up my mind. I refuse to go to bed unhappy. Did you know that I had the most restless nap, just this afternoon?
In my sleeping but active, vibrant & overworked mind (questionably so), I was looking for a list of things that I've lost. I knew that I needed to locate the list, before I could start looking for my missing items. Does it make sense to you?
It started with my handphone. Followed by my iTouch, followed by various trinkets/knick knacks... like my Venus earrings... and my watch. So I followed through the list, methodically searching till I got stumped at item #15. It was my beaded clutch. I couldn't even find the dress that I was planning to wear for Project 859's opening night.
Somehow, I started to freak out and lost my maha important file in the midst of all that unecessary chaos. I started running frantically around and lost one side of my shoe (i can't remember which pair it was that I was wearing).
The scene changed, as though someone clicked the shutter on an old camera and I found myself all alone in a very messy room. I started putting stuff away - filed documents and cleaned out shelves. I even took down the dusty curtains. The room was only slightly less cluttered by the time I thought I was done. By then, I was perspiring. I remembered checking my armpits (yes, there were spots).
Defeated, I sat down in the middle of the room. I remember pausing to lie down (lie with me, lie on me...) cause I was so tired of looking, and trying to keep my head above the mess. I put my feet in the air.
Getting myself out of the fitful nap was almost impossible. See, I knew that it wasn't real, I was aware that it was just a dream. But I was still so unbelievably tired. And still missing a whole lot of things.
Somehow, I started to freak out and lost my maha important file in the midst of all that unecessary chaos. I started running frantically around and lost one side of my shoe (i can't remember which pair it was that I was wearing).
The scene changed, as though someone clicked the shutter on an old camera and I found myself all alone in a very messy room. I started putting stuff away - filed documents and cleaned out shelves. I even took down the dusty curtains. The room was only slightly less cluttered by the time I thought I was done. By then, I was perspiring. I remembered checking my armpits (yes, there were spots).
Defeated, I sat down in the middle of the room. I remember pausing to lie down (lie with me, lie on me...) cause I was so tired of looking, and trying to keep my head above the mess. I put my feet in the air.
Getting myself out of the fitful nap was almost impossible. See, I knew that it wasn't real, I was aware that it was just a dream. But I was still so unbelievably tired. And still missing a whole lot of things.
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