Schmaltzy Fattay

The thing that makes it so difficult for me to just move and get over him is the fact that he's the first thing ever in life that i was so sure about. I thought about him day and night and i was privileged enough to enjoy his endearing company :) I couldn't have asked for a better moment, a better emotion that overwhelmed me when I saw him waiting for me at the arrival hall that day when i came home from Korea. It was just so perfect.

& now, i wondered what I used to be so passionate about before he came along. Nevertheless, I was soo happy. Looking back, I can't understand why.

I weighed more about 5-6kg more and no one could tell where my boobs started and where my tummy ended. Look at my fat fat face! You can't even see my eye sockets la! This was taken off Zhira's blog (OMG Zhira, i fainted when i saw this! I didn't think i was that fat! I think this was my weight at the peak the heaviest ever!)

There's me, at the furthermost right. I've always aspired to be thin- that's no secret and my dreams came closer to be true when Abdar came along. Haha. It was agonizing, i swear. But worth every top that now slips easily through my arms and around my waist. So from here on, I vow to keep on losing weight until i weigh no more than 48 kg, at most. Actually that's still not what you'd call thin, but i think it's a realistic goal...

So enough of my struggles with fat for now. It's so depressing and it sometimes makes me feel weak, thinking about all the stuff that I musn't eat. But oh well, i always end up eating anyway. I'll make sure it'll be in moderation. I swear upon my fatty arms and legs that my food intake will be monitored and controlled.

I MUST NEVER RETURN TO THAT STATE OF LUMPINESS. And thus, this is my new-found passion.