Early Raya Greetings.

Hello all. Hari Raya's tomorrow and I'm not quite looking forward to it (other than the fact that it means A's are drawing even closer than before...) cause I made no preparations to jazz up any part of my house what-so-ever... I tend to faint at the sight of my study table... so... I've decided to decorate my blog! Thus, here's this year's one day early Hari Raya blog greetings from me to you all :)

(click for better view!)

Very funny. Some people are busy painting their house... I use "paint" to do nonsense.

Okay, prelim results should not be showing on my face tomorrow.

Thurs will be back to work after all :)

So... just eat, drink and be merry okay!

I've always been an all-or-nothing kinda girl, esp
when it comes to dealings with the opposite sex.
I already have fantastic gfs, so why bother
with guyfriends too? But perhaps, as you get older, it's
better to surround yourself with all types of people.
All-or-nothing is a tad bit too demanding of me, don't you think?
A guy's input can give you a fresh new perspective on things.
And gays are fun. Cause they're gay, happy :)

On a depressing note; uni seems like sucha long shot away.
I've just failed history badly. I don't know. Maybe I won't even
have to worry about friends because from the looks of it, I'm not
gonna have any left soon. No one wants to associate with failures.
What if i can't afford to meet up with friends because they wanna
have lunch at expensive restaurants in future... they will all be
successful, you see. *shudders. Don't mistake me,
I'd be extremely happy for their success, no doubt about that
but it's just that I'll be that sad ole charity case.
It'll be an extremely uncomfortable situation.
Like that episode I watched on F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
*more shuddering

Hello Alonso.

RED-BULL


RENAULT

FERRARI

Weeeeee. Went with Naj at the last minute to catch the world's first F1 night race. Such rush only happens on a race circuit. Sg's Gran Prix experience was great (: So much cleaner compared to Sepang's. Plus right, at least they charge only S$3 for a bottle of coke...which is comparatively cheap compared to KL's RM10. Haha. Ok i am so auntie. Coke price also wanna compare. Walk-about today, grand stand on Sat/Sun. I'm so shagged from all that walking. I get woozy thinking of all those hot drivers in their tiny woooshy cars. Ok,not making sense here. Go catch it for yourselves okay. There's still another 4 years left of races to go on Sg's contract. Night races are 10 times less taxing on spectators. I can vouch for that. Goodnight! I'm gonna concoct myself a dream of fast cars and racy racers. My current fav is AT&T Williams' Nico Rosberg. Check out his homepage & damn hot photos. OMGOMGOMG-material, i tell you.

SIGHHHHHH. He is such a DREAM. And I am such a dreamer. We complement each other well, indeeed! Kayy stop it sia.

super flat-out.

I hate it when my parents accuse me of not trying hard enough for A's. I try so hard not to fall apart everytime i read history and if that's not trying hard enough...i dunno what is. Sigh. History just gets me sooo down and it really makes me frown. It's getting infinitely depressing. It haunts me. And i won't be able to study real-estate at uni if i don't at least pass History, meaning a D grade. I have yet to smell an E. Shucks.

I've thought about it and I think a degree in real estate allows generous room for prospective career paths. I would LOVE to do literature in future BUT... I'd make a horrible teacher/lecturer. And i also realise that i cannot connect with deep poems about love, which generally makes up the basis of human behaviour and ultimately, litereature. So maybe valuing properties and coordinating property development projects would serve me much better in the long run. Hmmm. I may even develop a serious interest for this. So this shall me my updated goal, as of 25th Sept 2008 at 4:25 pm. Yay! I finally have a concrete direction to work towards!

If it doesn't work out, then i'll fall back on PLAN XX; which is to lose weight and get toned through intensive body-bending, orgasmic yoga and then I'll teach my fellow flabbies and fatties how (ok, i know it still involves teaching but at least i don't have to mark any essays!) I'd be contributing to society both ways :)

I still have that awful History problem to tackle. Please Nas, don't start crying before you even reach your notes!

On a completely unrelated note; Have you checked out FAUZIRASSUL, THE SELF-PROCLAIMED SG MALE BITCH. Oh he's another one of those who plagerises, thinking that he won't get caught for passing off someone else's work for his own. IF I EVER SEE HIM OUTSIDE, I PLAN TO SPIT IN HIS FACE... Provided i'm not alone, i guess. Wouldn't wanna get chased around by his bunch of supporters. That'll be bad because they'll probably out-run me anyways, regardless of how girlish they happen to come across as. I'm not against him because he happens to be queer but i simply cannot understand how an imbecile like that can have such high regard for ITself! Like where on earth does he (it) get his (its) self-assurance from, i wonder. So sure, so haughty, so forth-coming in doling out advice for the masses, assuming that we all kowtow to YOUR ROYAL SKINNYNESS OF YUCKY LAND (haha sounds so bimbotic). It's rebarbative. I hope he gets squeezed to death by those female pants that he loves wearing so much. I suppose his balls are too teeny weeny to fit into regular sized male pants. Well duh! He's model skinny! What would i know about that?? LOL.

The sun will shine t o m o r r o w

I thought the sunrise yesterday looked extra s p e c i a l. I watched it with my mom from our 12th storey balcony. It was silent but tranquil. Good start. Did it mean what we thought it meant?

It's remarkable, in an unassuming way, how the sun rising can mark different milestones, at different points in your life. It can mean a variety of possibilities, it brings hope. Sunsets often symbolises romance. Or an end to something, sometimes fear even, of the awaiting darkness. But sunrise represents a new beginning, well... at least at the moment where you manage to catch it. I don't know if it's different for you but such experiences leave such a fleeting impact on me, it's difficult to feel, tough to retain. Maybe i'm just insensitive that way. So that's why a good camera comes handy.

I spoiled the rest of the day by going off to sleep. I'm so wasted. Notes astrewn. Work makes me sneeze, a whole lot. I sneezed 30 times before i finally fell asleep. Felt like i ran a mile. And I ache from sleep. My neck.

Still, it was a cool sunrise. The weather was... wow.

They're definitely for keeps.

BACHES at Arab St; 19th Sept 08


From left; Syarfa, Kairena, Asmara and me. Ashikin and Amiraa couldn't make it. Oh well. Complete reunion soon! Oh we all bonded over cards, close to 3 years ago and we have great chemistry and we intend to keep all that science between us girls :) LOVE THEM. <3












That was like our $10 plate of kebab and we paid $2.50 for "special" heaven and earth canned green tea. I swear, we were nowhere near the Sg Zoo okay. Hahaha. RIP-OFFS! But for the company, it was totally worth every cent. And the sauce was good too.






My mom! Haha, don't we look alike?

With our aunties. Haha, the one in yellow tudung already told us, her nieces to teach our kids in future to call her "nani" cause its cool. Whatever! I really really hope I will look like them when i'm older... I wanna age without looking barrel-like. Heeh.

My cousin, Maryam F and her very goofy bf. I swear, they look so good together in real-life. Very happy and very settled. They were the ones we were seeing off.


This was the best day i had in the longest time. With the Baches and our BMW (bitching, whining, moaning) session, the laughter and the great story-telling session... OMG it sure has been ages! I'm so glad we all met up. And I sense that there'll be more meet-ups in the next few years to come. Hopefully we'll all be earning good money by then so we can go do our share of high-end shopping and dining togetherin the not so far away future!

And then I headed to the airport after that to send my cousin off to Wales! Her bf went too... they're studying together. And i believe we'll be hearing wedding bells soon from the pair of chemical engineers. LOL. I wanna do that too (to fly off and study overseas, not to fly off with some guy)! Ok, another source of motivation.

After the airport, headed to Geylang with parents and sisters for 1/2 hour last minute baju kurung shopping. We just picked, paid and left. Haha. Not in the festive mood la. Both Naj and I are bogged down with papers right after so... oh well. We'll celebrate proper next year, i guess. So yes, yesterday was indeed fulfilling & I am contented, after the longest time (:

Paper Roses

I realized the way your eyes deceived me
with tender looks that I mistook for love
So take away the flowers that you gave me
And send the kind that you remind me of
Paper Roses
Paper Roses
Oh how real those roses seem to be
But they're only imitation,
Like your imitation love for me
I thought that you would be a perfect lover
You seemed so full of sweetness at the start
But like a big red rose that's made of paper
There isn't any sweetness in your heart
Paper Roses
Paper Roses
Oh how real those roses seem to be
But they're only imitation like your imitation love for me

pitt-stop.

last paper just ended about an hour ago. and i'm hoome. and i is feeling relieved. i definitely tired myself out from all the worrying in the first week of exams. second week, i gave up worrying already and started sleeping, heavily. sleep is very very important.

okay, now i have an entire week free, up till next tues, before school begins. time to recharge before the final lap of this bloody long race. hoho.

and after a's i wanna do something wild. not wrong, just wild. maybe i'll try eat escargot or something. how about getting some piercings done? like on the tongue? it's nice to have shiny stuff in your mouth. haha. i'd never do that. i'd probably go eat snails though. and then do sky diving on a full slimy stomach.

i need to conquer that fear of heights. must stop crying at "high" altitudes. yanni, you rmb the guides camp and we had to climb over the "very scary" wall back at bbss? you rmb how i cried when i reached the top?? and i couldn't get down la! lol, costed my patrol a few thousand competition points.

fatties vs thinnies

I have a paper in awhile... but I don't know. It doesn't seem that important anymore. Haha. Because hey, IT'S JUST THE PRELIMS WHAAAT.

Yesterday I shopped at Centerpoint's MNG and robinsons. My mom had the sudden urge to buy things and this occurance is VERY RARE.

I learned a few things about myself. I dropped a few sizes everywhere and i mean everywhere!!! While it is fantastic news to be able to fit into size 'S' and the occasional 'XS', it is not nice to be told that i need a much smaller _ _ _ size. Oh well, there are always trade-offs i suppose.

Do you know why I'm so obsessed with losing weight? Because I've noticed that people generally have become much much MUCH nicer to me ever since I've lost weight, not that i'm thin now or anything like that... but i'm no longer huge. Size "XL", i hope will stay as Renaissance history for me. Being smaller makes a significant improvement to my daily life, really. I get much better and more attentive service at restaurants and shops and barristas give me extra chocolate chips! So yeah, therefore, there is a solid correlation between "thin" and "sweeter life". Less doors will close on you that way. Yes, it's sad to have found out that our parents have been lying to us all this while... saying it's the inside that matters. Who cares about the inside if the outside is repulsive. People only start taking an interest in the inside if the outside is appealing enough in the first place. And i know that there are very appealing plus sized girls and guys around. They are just really cute and bubbly! Now, this is where the inside comes in to further complement the outside. Sometimes it can, work wonders!

I think you have to be thin and nice (meaning down-to-earth and acts like a regular person who does not discriminate against fat people publicly) to reap the full scale of social benefits. If one is all hoity-toity and thinks that everybody is to fall at his/her feet... or has such a high, unrealistic regard for herself, then forget it, you've just condemned yourself to social hell, yes, no matter how skinny and gorgeous one presumes one's self to be. Hell, baby, means nobody really likes you for the person you've cultivated yourself to be. And this, I think, is ten thousand times worse than being fat.

me part II

When i think about myself; past, present and future, I can't see anything. I wish i'm something special, as opposed to being a mass-produced piece of human being... you know, the generic type. Not stupid yet not very smart, not ugly yet not beautiful, not disabled yet much of my abilities are limited, not evil yet not even kind, not dowdy yet not sensational either.

Maybe i've allowed myself to become this way. I refuse to believe that I was destined for a life of mediocricy about 18 years ago when I was welcomed into this world. Baah. I only have myself to blame.

Anyhoos. there's only two more weeks left before the end of Ramadhan. I cannot believe this... meaning the date that I have supposedly been preparing for the past three years is drawing closer! Yikes.

Ranting.

I have gotta stop attracting adolescent 15-year-old boys. I met another one today.

Seriously, SERIOUSLY??? Do i look like i'm running a child-care center or something? Sheesh.

This occurance today brought to mind the likes of Haziq (the one with a babyface), Wee Sean (the most mature among them) and Fahmy (this one was my fav)! All very adorable, all very young and all very fifteen. They made the first half of my 2008 so awesomely cute... made it a bit easier to get by. Don't think wrongly la. I met them at this, Mindchamps programme. Go google it to find out what it is all about. Still... I would appreciate older guys better. I don't mean those in the 16 to 17 range either. 18 and above. But preferably below 30. And if you're 30 (or above) then you better be successful hor (meaning; not only a good position in a good job but must also come with good pay or if not, must at least have a good medical plan/health benefits), then only a girl can respect you properly. Pakcik pakcik and tiko tiko ahpeks all pegi mampos la. I don't want too fresh or too shrivelled- smell like stale smoke, mothballs and joss sticks.

Oh man, this is turning out to sound like one of those personal ads. I'm just annoyed okay. The one i met today made me sooo uncomfortable till i couldn't even finish up my case-studies peacefully. Mehh. I swear, if i wanted a new toy to play with, I'd go get myself a PSP. Comes with a warranty and waaay less trouble. Right now, I'M BUSY. Toys can and should wait. Oh wait, i am a big girl now and I do not want to play with toys anymore. I'd prefer something that won't break, something more solid and enduring. Now what would that be?

Hair, history, hungry and all things beginning with "H"

I am intensely missing my long hair. I used to be able to tie it up... or bun it and wake up to the smell of my shampoo (that is IF i remember to shampoo la, HAHA).

By the way bil, this is all your fault, for making me remember about my very own "hair tragedy" not too long ago. Haha. It took years for me to grow that length and only one hour to chop it all off (the hairdresser didn't understand English, you see... it shouldn't have taken so long) impulsively, because I was trying to go ala Britney Spears... and wanted to shock the world. Meh. The world wasn't shocked, but I was.

I am missing Yanni badly too. I wish she can come and tutor me History. Maybe she can tell me stories about the Cold War (: Girl, i haven't seen you in a thousand decades and we must meet up soon. I really want to see your dorm and you have alot that you need to update me on!

Anyways, at the moment I have a real love tragedy to tend to and decipher; Othello. Need to prepare for my next paper... On thursday. It's weird but anticipating a paper excites me. I like the rush I get when i flip the pages and scan through the questions, taking my pick. It's like;

"Ladidaaa... should i do this one? Oh i dunno what it's asking for, shucks, the question looked so nice... Next!"

And then i usually get sleepy after picking out those questions I'd like to do (we get to choose 3 out of 6 essay questions). It's the writing out my answers part that I hate because it tires me so. I'd have lost all steam and stamina by the time i hold a pen in hand.

Actually, i think i'll nap awhile first. Hehe. History killed me anyway. It gets so stressful when everybody around me asked for extra paper... made me feel like jumping up and saying "ENOUGH ALREADY, COME GET ALL THE EXTRA PAPER YOU NEED FROM ME!!!"

I had 6 pieces. And was left with TWO extra sheets after answering 4 fecking essays. One i drew on, the other I handed in, blank, with the rest of my scripts to give the impression of volume. Brava.

Sleeptime. ZzZzZzzZzZ

Infused.

I used to listen to "Take it From Here" (the song that's playing now, on my blog) to calm myself down. I used to have it on repeat mode during those stressful, neck wrenching, hellish, good ole' project work days. Haha. Calmed me down a whole lot. I'd pretend that there's this lovely angel...which somehow usually takes the form of Himself (er... who, in the current context, no longer exists as my boyfriend). He is supposedly looking out for me, while warbling this awfully cheesy yet strangely romantic song, making sure that I know that everything will turn out better than just fine. It worked wonders! Within those five minutes, I’d feel all energized and raring to go! So I guess what I’m trying to say is that this song helped me source out whatever strength that is left within me, to just plunge in and get going again. Thus, here I am, hoping, in mild desperation that this song will calm me down and help me achieve that "innerpeace" before I start my last minute Econs revision again.

Anyway, here's the lyrics and my favourite cheesy lines from this song, are hi-lighted in clour! It’s so predictably cheesy... it has mozzarella dripping all over!

Take it From here

Sometimes, sometimes the world gets hard

I'm gonna take it from there girl
Don't you worry

I wanna be your lake, for your bay
And any problems that you have
I wanna wash 'em away
I wanna be your sky
So blue and high
And everytime you think of me
I wanna blow your mind

I wanna be your air
So sweet and fair
So when you feel that you can't breathe
Ma, I'll be there

I wanna be your answer, all the time
When you see how I put your life before mine
With no question

(Chorus:)
When all the love feels gone
And you can't carry on
Don't worry, girl
I'ma take it from here
Just as sure as the sun will shine
Every morning, everytime
Don't worry, girl
I'ma take it from here

I wanna hold your hands
Review all your plans
I wanna make sure everyone of your dreams will stand
I wanna be your broadway show on review
(Why)
So I can act out how God was when he made you
I wanna be your lighthouse when you get lost
I'll light a bright and shining path to help you across
I wanna be your mother, wait
See what I see
And when you see that can't nobody hold you like me
Cause I love you

(Chorus)

Give me one reason why we should not be leaving
This world is so deceiving, the time is now
Let's fly away speeding
Through the Garden of Eden
Where all the sweet breathing of love surrounds

(Chorus)

Love ain't always the way they write in books
(No, no)
See there's the good guys
And also heartbreak crooks
Your heart's the real book
Just take a look inside
'Cause it's a colorful illustrated guide

So there you go
Don't worry
I'll be the one
To help you weather the storm
I'll be there mami
No matter what time
No matter what place
You can always count on me
I'll take it from here

***Oh well, I know straight up that when it comes to most things in my own life, it's all really up to me to see it through... yeah, the whole nine yards and possibly more, because only then can I say; been there, done that, made it (:

Econs prelim paper at 1pm tomorrow. Mmmm. The final papers I'm gonna sit for as a student of Millennia. I think i'm feeling a shot of nostalgia already. How about you guys? Our last seven weeks as students in uniform... believe it or not. And to think that it took a genius like Einstein to figure out that time is a relative concept. Chet.

:((((((((((((((((((((

Bubble boy, bubble girl & bubble baths for bubbly pets

I wish I'm living in a bubble. Protected from all societal harms. My bubble would protect me from harmful UV rays too. It'll be a sweet, tranquil existance. Just me and my bubble. My very special kind of bubble. My bubble will have pretty lace curtains, by the way. Can you imagine it?

I'm gonna liven up my bubble with bubbly, gurgling pets; a cat that looks like the twins' Muchos (i swear it has the most adorable face i have ever seen on a kitty cat! heeee), a really cuddly chinchilla (that'll double up as a coat on cold rainy days) and maybe those sea monkeys (they're very low maintenance).

Oh and I guess I'll need my hp too. What's the point of living in a bubble when you have no friends to play with? Haha. You stressed people living in the real world can come escape into my bubble land with me :) Wait for my text or call, alrightey? It's a date then- just YOU, me, my cat, chinchilla and sea monkeys... all in one big HAPPY bubble!

Tralalalalalala...

H A H A, H A H A.

Nyeh, i abhor msn messenger

If there's anything I am disliking at the current moment, it would have to be msn messenger. I rarely log on and if i do... well, it would mean I'm erratically bored, or i need to do some instant file transferring.

Maybe its because no one talks to me online. Maybe i should stop appearing offline for a change... Oh well, either way, I hate you msn messenger. It makes me wanna pick a fight online, like especially when I see stupid names on screen and their equally dumb and very slappable personal messages. Besides, bickering onscreen offers total and complete nose protection, if the person on the other side feels like punching my face or something.

Okay fine so its their right to choose whatever name that catches their fancy and i'm not an idiot so i do the most obvious thing and just log out. I think i'm losing my mind, to be bothered by such trivial matters

Oh anyway earlier tonight, i bought eco-friendly lingerie (inspired by the ad in URBAN, see, fantastic advertising works cause even the financially strapped can somehow afford to part with more money) because I thought that'll make me an eco-chick; you know a passionate budding activist, fighting carbon emissions or something. So much for that. It was a satorial disaster and I just made myself look more like a tree bark (my closest of kins) underneath the normal, civillian outer wear. Yeah, very sexy. It's like wearing expensive guny/rice sacks. But really comfy ones. Okay goodbye.

I take it back, whatever I said in the previous entry (which has now been deleted). Having a lose-lose mentality will not help at all and its like shooting myself in the head already.

Come on, we all play to win. Something.

Detoxification

Rainy days used to mean so much more.
Now rainy afternoons spell extreme bore.
Since I'm no longer that girl you adore,
Over long wordy notes I shall now pour.

I used to get intoxicated by the smell of fresh rain on grass. Now I just avoid puddles with a weary eye.

Ewwww stop being so emotional nas, you're making me puke out tufts of hollow, stale air. Yuck.

Soogah fix please?

(Natalie draws the best cartoons, fit for almost every occasion. Ho hum)

I just want to eat all the brownies in the world, topped with hersheys chocolate syrup. I'd like tiramisu too. I want to head down to The English Rose Cafe at Holland Village and sip vanilla flavoured earl grey tea, with a nice book in my hand, preferably something funny and light, nothing too intense please (i've got enough drama from History okay, all the wars and whatnots. Humanity sickens me. I wish they'd go back to spearing ostrichs for dinner). Not forgetting my beard papa creampuffs (cookiechoux!!!) too, i simply MUST HAVE those.

I'm craving for all the sweet sweet stuff. I'm normally a salty kinda girl, who'd choose potato chips over chocolate chip given any other day. I think my tastebuds have changed, for better or for worse, i can't quite tell.

I have yet to complete my readings, much less get my lazy self to practise essays. Sigh. But I feel like I've done alot leh. I always always overestimate my revision, i swear that's my number one vice.

Happy cramming for prelims you crazy people who chose to do the A'level course :)

To those who aren't, it would very much be appreciated if you send us some looooooooove. It can come in the form of herbal soup, brownies or better still, cold hard cash or potential job oppurtunities that can help us make it comfortably even if we get mediocre grades. Ha, fat hope. Ok, love you muchos. *hearts all over the world tonight* (sings to wake self up again)