omgosh you suck.
you didn't come through and probably never would, ever again.

Blogging puts things into perspective for me.

Before the paper:

Was strangely calm. I love and thank my father deep deep for sending me that short few hundred meters to school. He has no idea how calming the car-ride effect had on me. I kept praying, hoping that He won't abandon me in spite of how horrible I've been. Sometimes when it's almost the end, faith is all you have left to hold on to. Plus, this first paper ever felt like the biggest gamble I've ever had to take.

During the paper:

"FUCK! IT'S THE ASIAN FINANCIAL CRISIS AND ASEAN!!!!"

a few seconds later....

"omg omg omg DECOLONIZATION." (i didn't study this at all)

The moment our kerek invigilator (i hate her sia, she frowned at me everytime i yawned and looked up from my writing paper) said pens down:

Why you screwing
With my head?
I don't think
You understand...

...Because I recognise
I've heard it all before
And I-E-I-E-I
Think of all the time
That I've wasted.

Britney's "Lonely" was ringing in my head over and over again.

I felt like I gave the paper my all, I gave it my best shot, in the only way I know how to. I've never passed this component EVER before so I really don't know what to expect. Thank God there's still another component, the International history part. Perhaps there's still a chance?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The worst is over :) I love Yanni. Haha, random. Thanks for calling me & making me laugh after i tripped over the cord trying to get to you!

Oh, I had an epiphany during my SEA History paper. It's a bit redundant but sitting there made me realise that what I really REALLY want to do for the rest of my life is to WRITE. I want to write things that people would read. I want to be that person who gives different viewpoints- I want people to go "aaah... i never thought of that!" after reading what I have to say.

I can go dream on la, since who wants somebody who can't even handle History after 3 fecking years right.

My delectable antics. Oooh

Today, I screamed for a good 2-4 seconds at the parking area of West Coast Park. You want to know why?

Ok, let me tell you, I have this bad habit of peeking into other people's car when its stationary/parked. I don't know why, I think I just like checking my own reflection in the car windows as i walk... you know, to check how much I've been sweating/ to see if my hair is out of place (yeah yeah very very vain, i know). So today was no different. I happily peeked into the first car that I happened to walk past after crossing over and guess what i saw???

A DOG IN THE BACK SEAT! IT WAS SO STILL... AND POSSIBLY DEAD.

That was when I started screaming. Yes for about 3.5 seconds (which is actually a relatively long period of time). Imagine all those passer-bys I must have scared.

But screaming is a justifiable reaction to such monstrosity, don't you think?

I mean, seriously, WHO ON EARTH WOULD BE SO EVIL AS TO SUFFOCATE THEIR PET DOG IN THE BACK SEAT OF THEIR BLOODY CAR, INFUSED WITH CARBON MONOXIDE, IN THIS SWELTERING, UNFORGIVABLE SUN RIGHT?? By then I was already running towards Mac D's, thinking of asking them to make an announcement loud enough for the entire west coast park area to hear, asking the owner to quickly run back and resuscitate that poor doggie.

But before I could reach the front door, I realised that I dropped my sweater and wallet while running and i decided to go back and get it in case a car runs over my stuff. Thank god I dropped those things.

BECAUSE,

When i checked out the car again, this time determined to memorize the plate number...

what I saw was:

Uh yeah, something which looks like that tissue box cover.

As of today, I am a certified nutcase. Thankyouverymuch. Can i attribute my outburst to stress? Because of the financial crisis and A'levels? Ha ha. No la, i just have a really really soft spot for animals- on top of all my other soft spots that my closests of friends should know about (hur hur- this is a very dry and wry laugh ok).

After that, i walked into WCP mac like I was any normal person, ordered iced latte and sat down to read history for a solid 2 hours (yeah it was too cold & then it got too warm) before heading home.

ONE MORE DAY! SO SEX-CITING.

hath more sinned against' sinning

5 deadly sins, Nasirah's style.

1. Sloth
2. Impulsivity
3. Too quick to assume & judge
4. Too fucking evil
5. Too fucking impatient

oh lemme add one more.

No. 6?

CURSES TOO MUCH.

Today, on the way to school, i saw 4 dead rats, in a cluster and a few hundred crushed cockroaches. Now tell me, what kind of sick omen is that? Perhaps an 'A' for each rat? Haha. Me strongly hopes so.

nuts

I am nuts all the way.
I tell you, i'm so addicted to blogging & going online.
I tried privatising my blog, so i'll stop getting distracted by it.
But then, all i could think about was opening it up again.
nuts nuts nuts.

It's not like i even have a life to blog about.
But then again, if you think about it, it's the having-no-life part that got me stuck here, on the computer screen in the first place! Hahaha.

Sometimes it can still be like this.
Ahhhh!

Graduation Tea + Photos

Eunice, me, Farah & Punitha

DIAH! OMG I SWEAR I PLANNED TO TAKE THE PHOTO WITH YOU EVEN BEFORE I GOT DRESSED FOR THIS GRAD TEA. HAHA I HADTA LOOK FOR YOU EVERYWHERE LA!

My bestest PW group mate, Farisha, lovely and adorable, as always!

PSSSST, i'll share with you a secret, the guy in blue has been my eye candy since like, i "smelt" him (he smells like oooooh)! We've spoken but i doubt he remembers me. I am still hoping for a princess diary (you know, the part where the school heart-throb notices the invisible girl-next-door because he knocked into my creampuff or sthg) moment with Muhd. LOL. Aiyaaa, no chance already. Eh Syarfa, ask him to hold Bachelor competition after A's lah! I'd be thin already by then. Hehehee. *slaps

Ang Pei Meng, the big friendly rugger (:

Sexy Farah zeemomo and Sitikus Eunice!

The loveliest lady in a sari, none other than the unforgettable SLYVIA (super witty & funny) :D

He's the history teacher everybody LOVES.... to complain about.

The greatest GP tutor on earth, MISS YANI!!!! ISN'T SHE JUST SO SMALL AND FEISTY?


My closest MI friends (:
Jannah & Farah A

Our favouritest Econs teacher, MR PILLAI!!! We are PROUD to be Pillaians

Mr Principal.

CLASS OF 2006, 06A2
So that's it y'all. There might be a few photos I missed out on but I'll try post it asap. Takes damn long ah.

Teateatea

Come back and check out the grad tea photos soon!
I'm too tired to resize and adjust contrast now. Meh.

P/S: Thanks so much for the lovely dress, I finally found the right occassion to wear it for (:

Self explanatory

Good evening.

The answer is NO, I will not, and cannot, get involved in a realtionship anytime soon, unless I am dead sure that he is the ONE. And I mean, the FINAL one.

/edited poem a little

The one whose life I will be a witness to,
the only one i'll stick with through and through.
The one whose existance I intend to account for
The one who'll bother to shut windows when it pours.
The one whose complete love I'll win over
the one who'll stay with me under the covers (:

There is a simple rationale behind my clause
It really is just simply because;
When a relationship starts to disintegrate and fade away,
Nothing else will come into play,
Conversations become painfully weak,
We'd be much better off, if I didn't speak
Then there's the pain that you have to endure
During long lonely nights forever more
It's an arduous task, adapting to change
It is even harder, trying not to blame.

SO

If there is no future for you and me,
and I am not your blushing bride-to-be,
Please save me the trouble of trying to heal
I hope you understand my humble appeal.

So, i hope this answers your queries. Wish me luck for A's ok, I need all the help in the world.

P/S: Copyright laws apply kay...cause I friggin wrote that rhyme. Just a friendly reminder :)

emo-wemo anti depressants.

I need to sort myself out proper.

The previous entry sickened me. I felt so uneasy, after posting it up, hence I took it down. Maybe it was the photos? Or maybe the content was just so... undecidedly chirpy.

Look elsewhere for regular updates... provided you know where to look (:

Maybe I'll post photos of grad ceremony/tea, if I make it there... and IF i look okay. Haha.

But it's true, today I found out that when you fall, it really is okay to just sit there and close your eyes for awhile... letting everybody just walk by in the crowded mall. Why bother about humiliation? "No, thank you, i... i'd like to stay like this" (I told the nice lady who went, "aiyoh, girl ah, girl, ok not??")

And then when I feel ready to face my throbbing knee, i picked myself up and walked like the floor's mine.

So there, life's little balukoos.

Reflections and final reservations.

I honestly thought I was much stronger than this.
More determined, with you know,
at least a hint of preserverance, perhaps?
Today really hit home,
sometime during the rainy late afternoon,
in the midst of Mdm Lee's lit period (yes, of all periods).
It dawned upon me that I really haven't much time left
and the critical readings cannot wait any longer!
They need to be critically tackled and I need to be discerning with information.
KING LEAR IS COMPLEX (so is Othello and Pride & Prejudice)
A's in its entiety simply cannot be consolidated within a matter of few days!
I can't keep running away, can I?
And if i don't do this and do this well-
I'll have nothing to show for the past three years here.
And what am I gonna do after A's?
School is all I've ever known, ever did, ever been (ignore the irony)!
It's like charting into never before ventured territory.
It's terrifying on so many different levels.
Can I still claim to be "studying" one year from now?

I've been a huge bawling baby this year. Sheesh.
Sorry y'all- to the TGs, especially, who had to
suffer plenty of my running nose antics and all.
Let's save the tears for grad ceremony (if we turn up)?
And hopefully happy, relieved, crystal droplets
sometime in March next year (:
We've had our share of drama, prose and poetry combined
but I sure had the most colourful & vibrant final
year at MI, ever, thanks to you girls.

It wouldn't have been 2008 without them.

Okay, all the best, yeah.
Try not to give up (or break down).
Heh. It feels stupid, i swear.

Teh and aluminium foiled hotdog.

Do you remember this?

FARAH, I DIED LAUGHING WHEN

I WAS CLEARING OUT PICS ON MY PHONE.

Oh for your information, I was trying to warm up that hotdog

which Farah packed for in the morning laa.

I warmed it up with heat from the hot teh.

But it looks so...weird and a bit wrong.

Look at it.

Haha, the things idiots do.

hello.

thisiswhatimeanbyNOSPACEATALLTOBREATHE.











this is called "space".




























Now this is even more space :D
























































OKAY NOW THAT IS TOO MUCH SPACE.

It's too much space to the point where it becomes all blank.

HELLO, HELLO?

See! No one heard me. Okay, i guess what I meant was he can no longer hear me. Why? Because of ALL THAT SPACE! And we all know that sound can't travel that far in boundless space. Next time you decide to space out or find your own space, for whatever reasons, please take note that space can not only be permanent but also have an irreversible outcome. Space can even fill up space. I is starting to ramble.