I had the best Sunday breakfast today - one i haven't had in the longest time ever. Omgosh how i miss pancakes in the morning! And how much MORE i miss it with Farah, who is, after all what makes these morning sessions so special.
And you know what, it made me realise that no matter how many guys i fall for, or fall out with, or wish I can have... or think i want to MARRY (hahahaha sometimes after 2 seconds) I know that at the end of the day, the only thing that will remain constant is that she'll still be my friend and the undeniably better part of me in the years to come. Really, you know you'll always be the nicer, kinder, more patient one in this relationship!
This, I know for sure. I have unyielding faith in our friendship. I know that it'll grow and become increasingly stronger as the years go by. Hey babe, can you remember a time when we fought? Maybe we should try fight! Then we can try see if it makes this better, and if the making up part involves a lot of chocolates and sweets - well, food, in general! Amazing, don't you think, how food makes up such an integral part of what we have? I bet we can categorize our memories together based on where we eat. Haha! Let's go on the Singapore Flyer (Poppyes) next weekend! If it gets stuck you KNOW we can jump in the capsule and make the whole thing go 360 degrees!
If you think you're the only one with imaginary conversations in your head, ME TOO, really. I like to ask you where you wanna eat for lunch (even though we're obviously never gonna have lunch on an ordinary weekday anymore, anytime soon) and what you think of poor people who like begging for money along the streets, and how it's always the melayus. I hate it... and then i will also laugh to myself when the imaginary you respond in my head with the wittiness and the expressions and actions that never fail to crack me up! Remember the "transformers, pratas in disguise"? Omg that was such a classic moment! Hey we haven't hit the gym in ages. Blame it on work, seriously.
I really miss our after school bubble-tea sessions man. I haven't had one in ages. Food just tastes blah-er without you! But i still eat ah. I just avoid the Farah foods (pancakes, bubble tea, u-mian... i cant even bear having the cheese tofu at banquet!) when i'm alone, cause it's not as nice :(
Ooookay, i know this is long entry. No, we didn't fall out...but we are seeing less of each other, in case you're wondering why i'm so sentimental. Argh, the pains of not having school anymore!
So my dearest friend, happy friendship day to you, to US. You know how they always say that nothing ever lasts, but this, i believe is one thing that will. So let's make the effort, 20 years on. Let's do our best to keep this going, alright? And if we ever start a business together, let's make sure that money issues won't get in between us. I trust you, really and I hope you'll trust me too. As much as you know how my infatuation with $ has evolved into "love" and sometimes "lust", I love you more. I want you to tell me if i'm changing into somebody you just can't relate to anymore. I want you to slap me silly. Slap the shit out of me, okay. Cause i really think you make me a better person.
And if you keep wondering why i'm so adamant about you being open to meeting people, it's only because i think you have so much to give, i believe that someone out there will truly know how to appreciate what you have to offer... and give you back more in return. It would be so beautiful. I will be the first one to be the happiest for you when that happens. I don't want you to shut yourself off and give up. It's just too bad that your first experience ended the way it did but that's just a small screw-up on your part and a big one of his. You've done profoundly well, keeping your head above the entire mess. I loathe him for what he ended up doing so yeah i still believe that he'll get what's coming - no matter how incredibly forgiving you are, never wanting anything bad to happen to him and all... Maybe he'll have lock jaw forever and have his bloody mouth frozen in that all-gums-showing position... THEN HE'LL KNOW ARH! We'll have the last laugh when his little slut refuses to kiss him and skips along to push up her humongous nugga-nuggas on the next willing guy!
Like what your friend said, be glad that he isn't the one. Be glad that you did share some moments of happiness with him. But don't you get it? There'll be so much, SO MUCH MORE waiting out there, with another. But only when you're ready, if only you'll allow yourself to. Things happen for a reason. Yes, I know it's a tired phrase. Only recently, i'm convinced that it's actually true and not the blah-blah bullfuckingshit people tell other people they're sorry for. It's not that i'm worried you won't meet someone - heck, i would never want you to settle for just about anyone, he has to be fucking worthy of you, of course (oops pardon all the french)... I'm just worried that you're gonna miss the chance of meeting that someone and experiencing that extra bit of happiness and bliss and all things delectable because you've just decided that you're done... No, don't be like that. All in good time, i'm sure.
I love you very VERY much. And maybe i should e-mail you this instead of writing it in my blog, hor? But i want the whole world (ok maybe the 10 people who actually read my entries) to know what a great person you are and how impossibly lucky i am to have you as a friend...moreover my BESTfriend.
Oh but i'll take down this entry if it makes you uncomfy, just say the word.
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