Broccolee's two!

I'm very proud to announce that my baby is officially two years old, as of today! Shamefully, I admit that I've countlessly tried to replace, shut-down, renew and lock her down but to no avail.

Guess our bond's strengthened, huh baby? You listened to all my rantings. Bid my every command and unlike for some of the other users out there, you hardly ever fail me! When I say; "upload photos", you do it, and promptly too. Thus is why I love you.

And I like the fact that I can access you anywhere. And you're there when I'm lonely and you distract me when I'm down (but you also distracted me a tad too much during A's and every other major examination I had to sit through in the past two years).

I love you. You're a witness to my life, a reflection of my thoughts and a testament to my being able to keep something going (see, I don't quit halfway at everything... TSK).

Happy Birthday Baby. I have to go get ready and meet my real friends (aren't you surprised, I actually have people-friends!!!!) now.

See you when I get back :)

Pleased

Finally, I'm satisfied with the latest layout, many thanks to this website: myblogmakeover

So things have been uneventful, as per usual. Goodbye!



Have a good one :) Monster mashhhh.

P/S: I wonder why we bother dressing up as monsters when we all are already one... one way or another. Humans are monsters. Period. No role-playing necessary.

Hey you, the one with a dick.

You’re just one of those guys. One of those men who seem intelligent and witty while they’re talking about themselves and their world, then the minute they stop being the centre of attention, their personality kind of disappears. Someone at some point has taught you to ask the odd question - that it’s bad manners to talk about yourself all evening - so you kind of go through the motions of showing an interest in other people, but it’s just something you do off a checklist on how to come across as vaguely socially acceptable. You don’t mean it. You don’t listen. You don’t give a shit about anything or anyone other than yourself.

You’re a toddler in a man’s body; which, let’s face it, is in the end just boring.

And also because tonight, I feel like lambasting all you generics, yes, all of you who think you're just so goddamn awesome, God's gift to women, like water is to land. All I ever asked for is just a little spot of sincerity. And none of you tried hard enough to fake it. What a shame.

Untitled

I think most of us spend an unforgivable amount of time, trying to evade what we're most afraid of. We make up excuses for them. We try to justify their reluctance and we do just about anything to convince ourselves that the way they've stopped reciprocating has got nothing to do with their loss of interest in us.

It's really not you, is it? It's her that you just don't want anymore. She knows. There. I've learnt that there is no point making up excuses for someone who doesn't even bother coming up with their own.

I wonder what'll happen if we all stopped over analysing and obsessing over every one of his gestures, or the tone of his voice. Why must we keep on guessing? It's his fault, not making his messages clear enough! Maybe he doesn't want it to be clear. Or maybe there isn't a message to decode, contrary to what you (and I) may like to believe.

I want to go out for a late night drive to the ends of the earth. Any takers? And this fever is dragging me down. I've just burned up my pillows. The parade was bearable, thankfully, despite the moody sun. Goodness, quit shining so bright, yes, you've made your point. You're HOT, so what? Hahaha I feel retarded, questioning the sun. Is the sun considered a living thing, anyway? Like trees? Do you happen to know? I'm curious.

G'night Lola dearest... Off you go to get all charged up for a long day out with me, starting Sunday morning!

Sent from my iPod, Lola Smokah

we're beautiful and dirty rich.

Can we just forgo FOH lessons? I think it's very uneccessary. I mean, who the hell wants to graduate just to do front-of-house or become the FOH managers, right? I'd probably nose dive from the top most seats in a theatre and steal all the thunder away from whatever show if that ever happens to me later in life.

I think I'm saying this because of Benny's relentless tutorials. ARRRRRRRRGH. Very meticulous tutorials. Very detail oriented. Very ARRRRRRRRRRGH.

And as I'm saying this, I have snot dripping down my nose. Very disgusting. My immune system is beyond whacked, it's ridiculous to even call it a system anymore.

So it's pretty clear that I only love school because of the people... and that I have no interest whatsoever in this course. Because let's face it, I don't like museums so visual art is definitely out. I don't really think I can organise stuff and keep up with all the minute details so that is out too.

But it was kind of enlightening to know that there are other avenues I can really branch out to when I get my degree. I can still write. So yeay. And I don't have to stick with organising events! DID YOU KNOW HOW RELIEVED I WAS TO HEAR THAT? Like thank god I won't be spending the rest of my youth running after sponsors or making sure that we have enough wine glasses for our snobby guests... and have like seven different weather plans mapped out, ready to be executed in case a drizzle falls... etc.

To cut the long story short - I'm just relieved that there is still a chance for me to go into editorials.

And my goal in life is to be beautiful and dirty rich. Because I've made peace with the fact that you can't hurry love. And money solves most problems... so why not?

I have to be in school around 4pm today. Oh gawd. And did I mention how torturous work was yesterday? I think I made their storeroom a germ haven. Disgusting.

Morning lessons are pointless.

I'm happily amusing myself with images from Tiffany's. Necklace, bracelets... feast for the eyes, food for the soul.

Haha... maybe I should get myself an engagement ring! It's good practise to love thyself.

Okay, back to browsing.

Work later after classes.

I hate being a poor student. And slightly later in life; a poor young urban professional. Thank god for websites which allow for embarrassment-free browsing... Technology rocks.

Anyway, look at this:

Elsa Perretti; Diamonds by the Yard

And should I get engaged... would a Cartier be too much?

Haha if you cannot buy for me then we pool ok... to get me one. Thank you baby.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

There is something vaguely depressing about bananas: the cloying noise they make when you chomp on them, their garish, pseudo cheerful colour; the useless, spent, bulk of their skin after you've finished. The only reason for their popularity was probably that you could eat one without getting your hands sticky.

Okay Nas, this is bad. Listing down the pros and cons of bananas, at 12:12 am on a Saturday morning is just... bananas?

No no no no-thing

I cannot put feelings into words, or thoughts into poetry. Because I
have neither feelings, nor thoughts that are significant enough to be
penned down. In fact, everything's become so significantly
insignificant.

The world will see me walk down a street one day and think; there goes
nothing.

I love wrapping my head around the whole idea and concept of
"nothing". See, it's the most flexible thing in the world. It can be
"nothing" one second... And morph into "everything" the next.
Alarming, don't you think?

Nothing is such an amazing feeling. Do you realize that to not be
governed by any form of emotion is probably the most powerful thing on
earth? No guilt trips, no road rage, no stupid crimes of passion. Then
we'd only have to deal with stuff like financial fraud and whatever
else.

What was I talking abt again? Oh right. NOTHING.

Sent from my iPod, Lola Smokah

Crazy rationalizations

When things are going just a tad too well, perk up because it's a
direct warning that something sinister is on the way.

Enjoy it, but don't start loving it. Oh well.

And the title to my latest entry is an oxymoron. Ha.

Sent from my iPod, Lola Smokah

WHAT THE HELL NAS.

I am the saddest person in the world today. I've accidentally deleted the only photos that I have of myself looking so super duper gorgeous (hahaha, you ask J, he'll agree - and he is one who always "menyampah" with me.)

First time I tried modelling. Nothing fancy, just a charity show, to help raise funds. Was very weird because I'm very short. The other girls my age are all tallish and skinnish and there was this very very amazingly hot girl. And er, not so cute guys. But they're all tall. I learnt about the importance of height yesterday. Height always creates a better impression.

BUT, I'm really happy about yesterday because Yang Lay had a pretty good crowd going! Not a bad place to start networking and so I met this guy who introduced me to a big rig editor and I'm gonna try weasel my way into the publishing world again.

I'm suddenly laughing at my computer screen because of what John said the other night, "Drink up! The kids in India are still sober."

Okay, maybe it isn't very funny to you. I'm still laughing as type this, btw.

Now I'm really sad again. I've tried Recuva - it's supposed to work wonders but it can't read my camera?? I think i need to buy a card reader and try again. I have to. There are too many goregous photos of my gorgeous classmates... that i've accidentally "permanently deleted". Boo.

Oh shit. Work in two hours.

Principles

I wonder why my principles are so easily compromised?

Is it because I don't believe in them? Or is it because it wasn't even mine to begin with? Was it because I was forced to adopt them... and then I've suddenly realised that heck, I don't really care for such things?

Maybe I need to sit down and think again, and re-assert the things I believe in... or just try have a little more faith.

One thing's for sure; I am done criticising myself. I am done putting myself down. I am done blaming.

I'm not ugly. I'm not gorgeous.
I'm not skinny. I'm not obese.
I'm not evil. I'm no saint.
I'm not stupid. I'm not smart.
I'm not patient. I'm not unreasonable.
I'm not easily likable. I'm not hated.

So basically, I'm just average. And tonight, there's really nothing wrong with that; as long as I'm trying my best to be a better person, better daughter, better muslim (okay, still a long way to go) every single day.

At this point, I can say that I am happy. I feel like I have a reason to wake up to every morning (even if it is for the sake of my attendance). And there's my classmates, who will always make every trip to school worth it. And the lessons are just awesomee... even if I freak out about the workload yet never do anything till the last minute.

Life's buzzing with activities and I've stopped obsessing about the things that used to keep me awake at night. Wheeee. With upcoming projects, articles and the occasional performances to catch... I just hope I'll remain forever enthusiatic about it all.

I'm so excited about this coming Friday.

I'll settle my principles another day, then?

P/S: I had "gong gong" (escargot of the sea, hahahahah) toooday! Thank you Sophie!

Kitsch

click to enlarge, please!