Sometimes i feel really bad when people are exceptionally lovely to me.
Because i really don't know if i can ever return the favour. I don't know if i have the capacity to... Or the ability to give them a hug even, to make them feel better. I remember abt what Jesz said before... Something along the lines of "i've got no human instinct, no soft skills" and that's kinda true. I overlook the simplest things that could've made someone's task easier... Like getting a glass of water for the speaker, or even asking if everything's ok when they seem abit down.
Part of me's afraid to be intrusive. The other part of me feel like i shouldn't, because sometimes, leaving them alone is the best thing. I tried to be comforting once but i remembered unintentionally making her cry harder than ever... And i could tell that she wished she didn't talk to me. I feel horrible but my mind goes blank and the only things in it are cliches that no one wants to hear. Oh but "You're beautiful" always seem to work though!
I'm just not a very comforting person. I can hug you to try make you feel better but even then, i know and you know that you'd rather have that someone else who's upsetting you to be the one providing that comfort.
Which is why i truly admire the kinda love that zoe has radiating around her. She's got so much and everybody can truly feel it, when you get close to her. Sometimes when i'm beside her, i imagine myself soaking in all her loveliness. Haha and then i laugh because no matter how much i soak... Life squeezes it out of me on a daily basis. So zoe, here's a shoutout to you! I really appreciate it and every gesture really makes me wanna just tell you how touched i am.
It's harder than it looks, the act of giving. It takes alot of selflessness and i'm so lucky to be surrounded by so many people who aren't even 1/4 as selfish as i am.
I'm so selfish :(
Because i really don't know if i can ever return the favour. I don't know if i have the capacity to... Or the ability to give them a hug even, to make them feel better. I remember abt what Jesz said before... Something along the lines of "i've got no human instinct, no soft skills" and that's kinda true. I overlook the simplest things that could've made someone's task easier... Like getting a glass of water for the speaker, or even asking if everything's ok when they seem abit down.
Part of me's afraid to be intrusive. The other part of me feel like i shouldn't, because sometimes, leaving them alone is the best thing. I tried to be comforting once but i remembered unintentionally making her cry harder than ever... And i could tell that she wished she didn't talk to me. I feel horrible but my mind goes blank and the only things in it are cliches that no one wants to hear. Oh but "You're beautiful" always seem to work though!
I'm just not a very comforting person. I can hug you to try make you feel better but even then, i know and you know that you'd rather have that someone else who's upsetting you to be the one providing that comfort.
Which is why i truly admire the kinda love that zoe has radiating around her. She's got so much and everybody can truly feel it, when you get close to her. Sometimes when i'm beside her, i imagine myself soaking in all her loveliness. Haha and then i laugh because no matter how much i soak... Life squeezes it out of me on a daily basis. So zoe, here's a shoutout to you! I really appreciate it and every gesture really makes me wanna just tell you how touched i am.
It's harder than it looks, the act of giving. It takes alot of selflessness and i'm so lucky to be surrounded by so many people who aren't even 1/4 as selfish as i am.
I'm so selfish :(
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