FULL STOP

I am back and I haven't slept in over fifty hours it is driving me nuts so can i just put a gun to my head and sleep forever i guess not cause that would mean suicide and i am a firm believer in the sanctity of life and all that crap unless you are hooked to machines then please by all means just die already cause what is the point of keeping a vegetable alive hmmm vegetables are actually useful because you can eat them and they keep you healthy and stuff like that okay where was i oh ya dying yes i dont want to die because people would have to bathe me since its a muslim practice and i dont want strangers to see my naked body its like so sad since i'm a virgin and nobody's seen me naked before so i don't want some stranger washing me stark naked and dead plus on top of it all I am two kg heavier than normal so that means i'll look worse so yes i don't want to die yet even though it seems like the most logical thing to do considering the fact that i really don't know what to do no no no i am not sad i am not depressed i just reaally feel like i'm wasting so much time that i do not deserve to have this beautiful gift or curse... i should give all my time to people who need time and that will be my contribution to make this world a better place so maybe i'd die and they would erect a big statue of me in the middle of nowhere (because nowhere seems to be the place i spend most of my time at) and remember me as the girl who donated all the time that she was supposed to live out on earth to mankind wow isn't she awesome and selfless which is all bogus because everybody knows that i'm actually selfish unless i love you or something like that i mean like seriously what the hell do i know about being in love its just a small word that happens to occupy alot of time just think about all the books, songs, sonnets, blog entries and wills and crimes committed, all in the name of love omg it all revolves around love doesn't it scare you boy it scares me can we ever escape it no because it doesn't make sense to live for anything else have you ever heard about people who live for money yes i suppose there was Miss Havisham who must have died unhappy i cannot really remember that story right now but i don't think i live for love because i believe that we all have a purpose and maybe my purpose in life is to be a good sister, eventually or to be a good friend or to donate time so you see there are plenty of possibilities!

if you read the whole thing than i guess you must be a really good friend or auntie of mine who cares but that is just what i want to believe i would believe anything lovely at this point so take advantage of my gullibility right now offer ends soon tyvm woooh i just wrote something that will be published uncut, unexpurgated and not edited