Have not written in quite awhile. Maybe i've outgrown this space. Or maybe there isn't an audience to write for. I should write for myself. I can't remember why i ever wrote and published it online. Maybe there was a point in time where i desired to be a feature writer or a columnist like sumiko tan. But apparently not anymore. Ha.
I also used to write posts when i was really down. But not anymore. I don't really get sad anymore. I get frustrated and upset when things don't go right (mainly career related) but i think lately i haven't been very in tune with my personal life. I let it go with the flow. I don't feel like tending to it. I take whatever life throws at me and if it is something pleasant & makes day to day living bearable, then i'll keep it.
I also used to say that i write to remember things.
But these days, i prefer to forget. At 24, seriously, what's the point of looking back? If i want to learn from history i should be studying the Vietnam War or something, not my stupid blog.
So many things transpire on an hourly basis these days. Life gets challenging as i figure out how to be an adult. Well, my version of adulthood seems different from the people i know. I want to build something for myself. I want to work for myself. I don't want to slog my ass off for someone else's dream. I certaintly have changed my mind about going corporate. I dream about starting a small business, not necessarily doing what i love (coz i've also realised that it changes faster than i can keep up with) but what i'd be good at. Haha i imagine myself to be quite panicky so my business partner will have to be the cool one (maybe like my current boss who is really awesome, i think). Or i could be a one man show.
I don't know what it'll be but i want that. I don't want to work under someone. I don't want a comfortable life. I want a blessed one. One which can get me a fancy apartment & the freedom to fly off for a getaway everytime i feel like it. And i'm not sure if anyone will come along to provide this for me. So i better get going. I have a very important lady who i cannot disappoint.
See you in future, Nas. I hope you'll be reading this from your own yuppie apartment soon. One which has a pool you never use. And neighbors who become your friends till it feels like what a college dorm must feel like on Saturdays (only quieter, with music choices along the likes of Japanese composers who write simple yet elegant tunes, perfect for an evening indoors)
P/S: It'll also be okay for me to turn on the lights and sleep at night in case i get scared, sleeping alone.
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