more choices

LaSelle's art management?

or

to deviate completely and study law (my childhood ambition) with the University of London?

or

go directly into journalism with Monash?

With a law degree, more doors will open, art management will probably be something i would really enjoy and yet... at the end of the day I want to write. Maybe I can write about law related issues?

My problem is committing to a choice. It's a problem because I don't know how much I want it in the first place. Can I really make a choice and stick to it 100%? Why would I pay so much for a private degree... doing a similar course which is offered by NUS/NTU right? What relavance would my degree have in our market then? A law degree, on the other hand... would allow me to branch out afterwards - into compliance, litigation and even journalism. Question is, will I be able to handle it? I died studying History, what makes me think I can get a decent law degree?

And lately, my attention span is two weeks, at most. Goodness, I must be the flakiest person alive. I'm just writing it all down. Hopefully it'll make more sense.

Happy Birthday to my Dad. We don't get along famously. But thank you for allowing me to make my own choices, giving me plenty of space to do what i want, always. I know you hate it when I go out and we always fight but yet you're still nice enough to not give up on me (I also know that despite everything you still think I'm smart... right or not abah? hahaha) I don't know what to say but I guess that's okay... because nobody knows me like you and mama. My horrible habits (the boys, sleeping till noon or later, never lifting a finger to mop the house/cook/dust our crystal vases and many more) and everything, yet still putting up with them... Filial piety is my worst quality but lets all hope and pray that I'll redeem myself one day.

My proposal to the Almighty above.

I am so tired. I don't want to think anymore because nothing good ever comes out of it.

I want to switch off and slip into a year long coma. By then I reckon that I'd be thin enough to face the world too! Very good arrangement what. Win-win situation. If i slip into a coma, the insurance company will cover my medical expenses. Free accomodation! Free glucose drips! No mac! Thinner me! No brain activity! And possibly pretty flowers from family & friends at least during the first month. I don't want to die yet laaaa. This is a compromise. After that I promise i'll be a good girl and do all the desirable things that ought to be done and fulfil all my obligations, as a daughter, granddaughter, sister, niece, friend... yadayadayada blablablaaaaa. PLEAAAASE? I also don't want to turn nineteen because it's such an unlucky age, like thirteen. If 18 is already so painful and uncomfortable, when i was so damn sure it'll end up great... then i cannot fathom what 19 would be like. This is not an escape route. Just asking for time off only. And i blog too much. If i may ask, let me know the results of the US presidential elections first before sending me into a coma, can? And no accidents, please. I don't want a messy temporary "send off". I dont want people hassling my parents about harvesting my organs. A clean coma would suffice :)

Omg i realise that literature, more often than not discusses tragedy. That's the thing, isn't it. Life's most appreciated content can only be recognized through an unfortunate tragedy. Happiness is forgettable and always so goddamn fleeting. Tragedies are timeless classics.

Introducing April Aa'lia

I suddenly thought that naming my daughter (if i ever happen to have one) April would be rather amusing choice.

Picture this, if she happens to go around breaking boy's hearts; they'd all be fondly referred to as- APRIL'S FOOLS. Haha, is that cute or what. My little sweet April. Okay and to keep my mother and father happy, i'd have to add a malay-sounding name to April. Hmmm, my choice would be Aalia. So people will probably go- "Don't tell me you don't know April Aalia, she's got a whole collection of fools." *chuckles. Ya-ya.

Actually i'd probably hate it if she goes around playing her boys. So April darling, i'll teach you well. You and your two sisters, May and June (:

So anyway, today was nice because i met two new people! Erli and Nabil. Farah's friends. Omg, they are just the cutest. It's like they fill the table with loooove and joy. The cutest and friendliest couple i've ever met. They don't make you feel awkward in their presence and they are just lovely :)